


Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups

by China_Rose



Series: Assumptions Series [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, RPS - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, jared/jensen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-09
Updated: 2007-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 52,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/China_Rose/pseuds/China_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared couldn’t resist playing a practical joke on Jensen. He just wasn’t prepared for the consequences. This is about how he saw an opportunity and ran with it hoping to pull off the ultimate practical joke and beat Jensen once and for all and how it didn’t quite turn out like he had planned. It is a story about why Jared decided to stop playing jokes on Jensen and instead joined him with playing jokes on everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
Banner by China Rose

 **Title:** Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups  
 **Author:** China Rose  
 **Pairings:** J2 (Jared/Jensen)  
 **Rating:** NC-17 (There be man sex in here)  
 **Status:** Complete  
 **Type:** Slash  
 **Warnings:** RPS, Humor and most importantly no Jensens were hurt in the making of this story. Don’t take it seriously and I blame my recent concussion for this crackfic.  
 **Word Count:** More than twenty. I know that because I ran out of fingers and toes. Ok total word count is… 18,572 words

 **A/N 1:** This story came about from something I read once where Jared often lost to Jensen when it came to practical jokes; so having lost one too many times he decided to join forces with Jensen so then it became the boys against everyone else. The title was pure luck; as always I was trying to write while surrounded by the passing parade of family who come to chat, whine, eat and borrow the car and one son said to the other “did you know that assumption is the mother of all fuck ups,” right when I was trying to decide what to call this story.  
 **A/N 2:** The story is set during the filming of Season 2.  
 **A/N 3:** A [ **spud gun**](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/China_Rose2/Miscellaneous/Spud_Gun.jpg) is a child's toy which fires pieces of potato using a small volume of air at low pressure.  
 **A/N 4:** “A grower not a shower” is urban slang and means a guy might seem to have a small cock when flaccid but it grows to a very respectable size when erect.  
 **A/N 5:** The interview referred to in Part 3 is [ **here.**](http://community.livejournal.com/completelyjared/61263.html)  
 **A/N 6:** Lines in blue indicates dialogue between Jensen and Sandy and is highlighted simply so that reader doesn’t get confused with other dialogue happening at the same time.  
 **A/N 7:** There is mention of the male g-spot in this story. There is plenty of information on-line about male erogenous zones and whether men have a g-spot or not. Short answer is they do; it’s a well-accepted fact. So if you want to know more go do some research about it.  
 **A/N 8:** Italics indicate thoughts

 

 **Beta:** Thanks to who laughed when he read this *yippee* and to who happily let me bounce ideas off her and shared her ideas with me as I wrote. Without either of these wonderful and long suffering people this would never have been completed. So ~~blame them if this sucks~~ *just kidding…whistles innocently* thank them if this gives you a laugh.  
 **Comments and Reviews:** Always welcome  
 **Disclaimer:** This story is a work of fiction. It is from my imagination and written down for a giggle and is in no way meant to harm anyone. I don’t know the boys; I don’t know their family, friends or neighbors nor do I know Sandy, Kripke or the Supernatural crew. I have no idea what the boys do in their spare time other than what I’ve read in fan magazines and no money was involved here. 

 

**************************************************************

Part 1

**“Never assume, seldom deny, always distinguish.” (Unknown)**

Jared tentatively opened his eyes. Bad move on his part as the mother of all hangovers decided to wake up with him. He stifled a groan and decided to sleep just a little bit longer…oh like until next year at least when he was sure his head would’ve stopped aching. He closed his eyes, carefully rolled onto his side, sighed like a blind man in a fish shop and then…what the f***? His eyes flew open and he found himself face to face with his sleeping but somewhat debauched looking co-star.

_Okay!! Awkward!!_

The men from head to toe were butt naked and geez?! Jared cautiously wiggled back a bit so that little Jared (well there was nothing little about that thing) wasn’t nudging Jensen’s hip. Jared held his breath believing that any opportunity to explain the situation would be over in a heartbeat as Jensen would surely wake up, freak out and meltdown all in one foul swoop.

Jensen was good like that. You never had to wait long for the shit to hit the fan. He never dwelt on it, just threw it out there, said his piece and worried himself into a new contract over whether he should have said anything at all. Poor guy, at that rate he would have an ulcer by thirty, which was why they had gone out drinking the night before in the first place. No not to accelerate Jensen’s impending ulcer or to ensure his liver died of cirrhosis before his kidneys shutdown from binge drinking, but to ease his co-star’s stress over having argued with the new lighting guy

The argument had been a professional disagreement about just how much light was actually needed to light the scene they were filming yesterday. The scene was supposed to be set in a moonlit room, but the lighting guy had put in enough lights to power up a small nation. Jensen commented that the guy was maybe a little too exuberant. The lighting guy told Jensen to concentrate on acting because he sure as hell knew how to light a set. Jensen asked how he could possibly concentrate on the scene when the script told him he had to bump into furniture because he couldn’t see where he was going. The guy said Jensen was being petty and to just pretend he couldn’t see, because he was after all supposed to be an actor. Jensen then explained that he and the room were lit up brighter than Christ on resurrection day and the guy replied that maybe the sun that shone out Jensen’s ass was creating greater illumination than anything the guy had set up and so Jensen refused to act until the situation was resolved. 

Manners and Kripke stepped in, Jensen stepped out. Shooting was called off while some sort of resolution was sought and the boys were sent home early. Later they were informed by the powers that be, insert the god of all that is and will be _Supernatural_ Eric Kripke, that resolution had taken a hike to the employment agency and that the boys had an unexpected but well deserved weekend off. He told them to be back bright eyed and bushy tailed early Monday morning and to leave all manner of problems, concerns and qualms behind them. God (Kripke) also stressed that he wanted a relaxed and problem free set and he especially didn’t want to read ANY bad press reports about the antics of his two and only stars on or off set. _“Behave, be good or be gone”_ Kripke decreed and the boys knew better than to disobey him. So they bowed to his authority and promptly headed out for a quiet drink or two to drown Jensen’s guilt over the situation. They ended up having downed far too many tequila shots and beer chasers and now on this lazy Saturday afternoon they found themselves naked in bed together. 

_I couldn’t have thought that one up if I had tried! Not that I had ever planned on getting Jensen naked in bed but hey, there are worse things I could wake up to._

Jared thought about all they had done last night and shuddered slightly. It had been quite a night. The night had begun with Jensen feeling miserable and Jared had tried to cheer him up. It worked and they had stumbled out of some non-descript bar to head back to Jensen’s apartment where more drinking and childish antics ensued. Once home they challenged each other to handstand contests, popcorn catching tests of skill and other feats of not so daring do, Playstation games and finally the spud gun competition. 

The thing about spud guns is that they are fun if used correctly, but put them in the hands of two extremely drunk and terminally stupid twenty-something year old men and simple games are bound to become complicated and led to situations that the players never considered possible. 

So the boys spent their evening diving behind sofas and leaping over chairs as they replayed the Alamo and the shoot out at the O.K. Carrol and pretended to be Texas Rangers. Texas boys will be Texas boys after all. But then the alcohol really kicked in and they upped the anti. It was a simple game of skill Jared explained to his somewhat inebriated friend. 

“Come on Jen it’s a simple game of skill,” he whined like a four year old. “It’ll be fun.”

The game was easy or so Jared claimed. They just needed to blow up condoms and place them strategically around the apartment, then try and break each one by shooting it with the spud gun while running through the room and dodging fire from the other man. For every condom not broken they had to shed a piece of clothing; simple rules really except that they were drunk off their faces and barely able to stand up. The problem was Jensen only had glow in the dark condoms and so they modified their rules such that they had to run through a dark room and shoot the condom while still being shot at by the other man who now obviously struggled to see where his prey was. Well it was quite a sight. Glowing condoms popped all about, clothes flew in all directions as targets were missed and much alcohol and merriment was had by both boys.

After an hour of shoot ‘em up and strip ‘em down he boys were covered in bruises from bashing into furniture and even more tragically their guns had jammed. 

“Guns need lubrication,” Jensen wisely intoned. 

However it seemed cooking oil was in short supply in Jensen’s kitchen so they opted to use the KY jelly that Jensen kept in his bedside table. Jensen congratulated himself on his resourcefulness because as he said “you never know when you might need a quick slick” or “a slick wick” Jared pointed out knowingly. 

With guns lubricated Jensen fired his to test that it did indeed work and he watched as a piece of potato left a greasy trail as it oozed down the wall behind his bed. Jared had then wrestled Jensen for the gun citing “a man has to know when and how to use his weapon.” Jensen felt the need to defend that accusation, because being older he claimed he had far more experience with both weapon handling and firing, and consequently two very tall almost naked men wrestled for control of a potato gun. 

Jared lost the round but was satisfied he had left his mark on Jensen literally, as the older man was sporting red finger marks from where Jared tried to wrench the weapon from Jensen’s less than steely grip. Jensen fled the room claiming victory because he still had his gun, just, and Jared had conceded that in this case Jensen was superior; but they needed to find a true winner so they continued to challenge each other until both were naked and incapable of standing unaided. It was at that point that they had tossed aside their toys and staggered to bed to sleep off the night’s activities, bare assed and in an alcohol induced coma. 

_Yep we had quite a night._

So Jared reasoned now that he was awake he had three choices; he could lay there sleep some more and later tell Jensen that he is too tall to sleep on the sofa and that’s why he ended up in his friend’s bed. Or he could leave the bed now and pretend he had slept on the sofa and all would be fine, or he could stay and watch the fireworks as Jensen disintegrated when he woke up to discover you know who, naked, next to him. Jared opted for door number three, after all hangover or no hangover it would be worth the look on Jensen’s face when he spied the too numerous to count empty condom wrappers, lube and discarded clothing. Yep that was gonna be some show before his friend came to his senses of course and remembered what had actually happened the night before. 

Surprisingly it didn’t take long for Jensen to stir but then it was well into the afternoon. He groaned, moaned, sniffled and slit his eyes enough to deduce that it was daytime before he finally focused on…yes you guessed it. He sat bolt upright before falling sideways out of bed while cursing up a storm and grabbing the sheet to cover his naked body as he struggled to come to terms with why his six foot four naked co-star was in his bed. Only problem was said sheet was also covering Jared, so when Jensen decided to become modest he actually unveiled Jared.

Jensen squeaked, squealed and generally stumbled around his side of the bed all the while screaming, “Jared? Jared! JARED??”

It was better than Jared could have hoped for. He simply lay there uncovered in more ways than one and watched Jensen put on the performance of his life.

Jensen’s eyes darted frantically around the room taking in the scattered clothes. He noted the bedside table and saw the remnants of what had obviously been a _very_ busy night and he squinted just a little, because he was yet to locate his glasses under the pile of condom wrappers, at what looked like _cum_ stuck to the wall behind his bed. 

“Fuck!” he shrieked as he clutched the sheet tighter around his waist.

“Yeah?” Jared breathed teasingly, realizing that his friend had no recollection, at least in the short term, about last night.

“No!” Jensen squeaked.

“Hey Jen, I had fun last night.” Jared’s eyebrows quirked in that _wink wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean_ innuendo.

“Fun?” Jensen looked inside the sheet as if to ensure his cock was still there. “With me?”

“Yes with you.” Jared frowned and put on his best _please don’t hurt my feelings_ look. “Didn’t you have fun? You…you said you wanted to do it again and again. So we did.” Jared laid back arms behind his head while little Jared lay half hard and resplendent against Jared’s stomach. “Yeah, you were good man. The best! You took me down, held me up and showed me the way home.”

Jared sighed contentedly.

“I…I…” Jensen looked from Jared’s cock to his face and back to his cock. “Clothes. You need…I need. Here…” He gave Jared the sheet oblivious to the fact that he had just left himself utterly naked. 

“Nice view,” Jared leered as he took in all of his friend.

Jensen looked down, looked up, realized his predicament and with a blush that threatened to cover him from head to toe, he grabbed a pillow to cover his Jen bits as he tried to walk half blind, hung over and backwards into the bathroom.

Jared couldn’t help but laugh. It was a cruel joke, but oh so worth it. Yep the best hangover cure in the world was to have a good rest, a few pain killers and play a practical joke on your best friend.

He heard the shower start in the bathroom. _Oh well better clean this place up._ He retrieved some of his scattered clothes from the floor, wiped the mess off the wall because dude, that really did look gross and collected the rubbish from the bedside table. However he left the lube where it was, after all he didn’t want to hide everything; because watching Jensen freak out was just priceless. 

A muffled scream echoed from the bathroom, “Fingerprints? You left fingerprints asshole.” 

Jared burst out laughing. Obviously Jensen still hadn’t remembered all of their evening. The question was just how long would it take for Jensen to remember what actually went down last night and more importantly how long could Jared string him along? Ah yes, that hangover was getting more manageable with every passing curse that bellowed from the bathroom.

“Dude you’re laughing?” A very wet and pouting Jensen remarked from the bathroom door, towel now firmly covering his assets. “And get some clothes on,” he added noting Jared was still very exposed.

“But you said you liked my natural look,” Jared stood tall, arms splayed to accentuate his nakedness.

“I…I do,” Jensen mumbled trying not to look at Jared. “It’s cold that’s all.”

Jared held his balls, “Don’t think so, my balls…”

“Jared. Clothes. Now!” Jensen shouted as he grabbed a discard t-shirt and sweatpants and raced out of the room. 

All Jared could hear was Jensen bouncing from wall to wall as he stumbled down the hall while trying to dress. 

“Coffee. I need coffee,” echoed around the apartment as a very befuddled Jensen staggered into the kitchen. 

Jared rolled around the bed in utter delight, “Yes! Yes! Yes! I win. This is the best joke ever.” 

It didn’t take long for Jared, fully attired and with an innocent look plastered on his face, to join Jensen. “Jen?” he asked tentatively as he entered the kitchen. 

“What?” Jensen nervously enquired as he busied himself with collecting last night’s beer bottles rather than actually looking at his friend.

With puppy dog eyes firmly in place Jared almost sobbed, “Do you regret what we did?”

 _The eyes. Gets them every time!_ Thought Jared.

Jensen stuttered to a stop. Turned and faced his all too sweet and extremely vulnerable looking co-star.

 _The eyes. Oh man, gets me every time!_ Thought Jensen. “No…no! Of course not!”

Jared was fascinated by the play of emotions that flashed across Jensen’s face.

“Jay it was great. Good company, good fun,” He waved his hand around as if the mess in his home spoke for itself. He pointed to Jared, “Good friends,” and then he pointed to the front door and somewhat happily announced, “Good bye.”

Indignation rose to the fore and Jared was actually affronted. Had he just been treated to the infamous and he had thought erroneous, patented Ackles _flirt, fuck, forgotten_ repertoire? “You’re kicking me out?” 

“No, no of course not,” Jensen rubbed the back of his neck a sure sign that he was lying. “You know how it is, things to do like eat, sleep, dust, therapy...”

“Son-of-a-bitch!”

While Jared had enjoyed himself immensely at Jensen’s expense, he had every intention of spilling the beans over a hearty meal and a good laugh. He never dreamt that Jensen would take it all so seriously. What’s more it would seem that Jensen didn’t have the heart or the balls to admit that he didn’t have a clue about what had happened. Instead he fell back on his tried and true “morning after the night before” practices rather than admit that he was confused. 

_Freakin’ jerk!_

Jared grabbed his hoodie from the floor beside the sofa and that’s when he noticed their discarded spud guns. He quickly hid them in his clothes and stormed to the door. He certainly didn’t want to leave any clues to what they had _really_ done lying about.

_Well if Jensen thinks I was that easy a lay well fuck him; come to think of it, I should have, because it’s not like Jensen would have remembered anyway._

“Jared?” Jensen at least had the decency to sound contrite.

Jared gritted his teeth, jutted his chin out and pierced Jensen with his best Padalecki _*I can’t believe you just did that*_ stare. _Jensen you’re just gonna have to figure out what went on last night all your own. This, my friend, is war._

“I’ll see _you_ on the set,” Jared yelled as he slammed the door behind him.

 

**********************************************

Part 2

**“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” (Henry Winkler)**

The thing about declaring war is that both sides need to know they are actually at war. So if there was ever a mistake made in this cluster fuck it was when Jared decided to play a joke on Jensen and Jensen had no idea that he had even been the butt of a joke in the first place.

When Jared stormed out of Jensen’s home not telling him what had actually happened, the scene was set for a cascade of events that could only lead to disaster. Jensen had been left to wonder how he could have so royally fucked things up, by one, sleeping with his best friend and two, by throwing said best friend out the door the next day without so much as an “I’ll call you.” Jared felt like a jilted lover and declared to make Jensen pay for screwing him when he hadn’t even been screwed in the biblical sense of the word; and Jensen resolved to make it up to Jared for fucking him blind and then cutting him loose, even though he didn’t remember the fucking and couldn’t forget the cutting loose.

While Jared stayed at home and plotted Jensen’s demise, Jensen spent the rest of Saturday sitting in the wreckage of his apartment and tried to work out just what had happened and how he could make everything right again. Of course he still had no idea that he had been the victim of a boyish prank since the memories of Friday night disappeared around the fifth tequila and fourth Playstation challenge. Jensen could only assume that somewhere in their drunken games they had progressed from _I’m gonna beat your ass_ to _I’m gonna fuck your ass._

Despite the fact that this had never happened before, Jensen knew that there was a first time for everything and this had been theirs and what a first time it must have been. Jensen reasoned that since his ass wasn’t sore, then Jared surprisingly must have been the recipient of their bedroom activities. Surprising because Jensen always imagined that he would be the bottom, he wanted to be dominated, he wanted Jared to control him, to fill him, to…not that he gave it too much thought of course because, hello, straight man but you know how it is, a man could occasionally look, and enjoy, and dream. Well that was his story and he was sticking to it. Anyway you would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice how easy on the eyes Jared was and now Jensen had so much more to feed his waking and wanking moments since he had seen Jared in the _flesh._

Truth be told, despite not knowing _exactly_ what had occurred the night before, Jensen was still somewhat proud of his sexual stamina, considering how many condom wrappers he had seen on his bedside table and of course he had more tangible reminders of their night together; he had bruises. Jared had left finger marks on his wrists and arms obviously at the height of his passion. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the thought and then sighed, because he couldn’t remember any of it.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and briefly wondered why he wasn’t plucking his pubes out over all of this? 

And then it hit him.

_I slept with Jared. Oh god, I slept with my best friend. Jesus Mary and Joseph, I slept with a man! Oh my god I’m gay. I am so going to hell if my mother or Kripke find out._

Okay so maybe his subconscious was just catching up to his reality. 

Then Jensen had an epiphany…no wonder Jared was so upset when he left yesterday, he had realized a lot faster than Jensen had, that he had slept with a man and what’s more, Jared had come to the startling realization that he had just cheated on his girlfriend. He had cheated on sweet little Sandy. 

Jensen hung his head in shame; he was a bad person to have caused this to happen. He had corrupted his friend, stolen his virginity and then hung him out to dry. Of course, the fact that Jensen usually swept his one night stands out the door faster than their feet could carry them didn’t occur to him. Nor did the fact that if Jensen had done Jared, then Jensen must have lost his gay virginity too, even if Jared hadn’t…you know…maybe because he was hung like a horse!

No Jensen’s concern was firmly fixed on Jared and how lost his friend must feel, sitting alone in his apartment probably shaken to the core that he had been used and abused by someone who he trusted with his life.

Jensen leapt to his feet and announced to his empty, except for the accumulating dust bunnies - but he didn’t think they actually counted, apartment _“I’m a bad person! I should come with danger signs that say, I corrupt. I should be encircled in salt so that I can’t escape and hurt anyone anymore. This is my punishment for all my fantasies. One night of drunken fun and then debauchery reigns supreme and what’s more, it was good! Well I think it was good. Of course it was good. It was with Jared!”_

He knew what he had to do. He had to tell Jared that he really did care, that Jared wasn’t like all his other “thanks for coming” lovers. He had to make Jared believe it. 

Jensen was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure Jared wasn’t tainted by this whole experience and he knew to his very core that God and Kripke (who Jensen actually thought was maybe the same person) would punish him for this if he didn’t fix it; then again, he would probably punish him anyway because he had done it in the first place. Either way, he had to make it right or his friendship with Jared would be over and then that would put _Supernatural_ at risk and the show would fold and he would be blacklisted and …

By Saturday night Jensen had worked himself into a full blown panic attack over the whole thing and had gone from “I’ll never drink again because it causes way too many problems” to “I will never work again because I popped Jared’s cherry and now the studio execs think that Dean is doing Sam. It’s over and it’s my fault and hundreds of people are unemployed because my one-eyed trouser snake had tunnel vision.”

By Sunday morning Jensen was beside himself with worry and guilt, especially since he hadn’t heard from Jared after he had so callously thrown his friend out the door. He also realized that he really didn’t know where he stood with his friend, co-star, lover (Jensen vibrated slightly with what could only be described as unbridled lust). In the end he was in a frenzy over the whole situation and decided to go to Jared’s apartment to clear the air. 

When his friend opened the door Jensen blurted out, “I’m a bad person. God will punish me and I am going to die in hell for making you cheat on Sandy.” He threw himself into Jared’s arms seeking mercy and forgiveness.

Unsure of what to do with an armful of gibbering Jensen, Jared reverted to the standard “there, there,” pat on the back as Jensen ploughed on.

“Did you tell her about us? Is she mad at you? Hell, is she mad at me? What did she say when you dumped her? You dumped her right, because I know you’re not a bad person and you wouldn’t intentionally cheat on your girlfriend?”

It was at that point that Mrs Chiloski opened her door to see what all the noise was. Jared just patted Jensen’s back and mouthed to his neighbor, “Girlfriend trouble.” “Oh” she mouthed back and closed her door quietly.

“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it good for you, I promise.” Jensen inhaled Jared’s scent as he entwined his fingers in Jared’s hair. “You can do me next time. _Really_ I want you to do me even if you look big. God you look so big.” 

Mr Martin happened to walked down the hall on his way to his apartment and gasped at the scene before him. Jared waved him on. “Girl problems,” he mouthed and tried to indicate with his hand that his distraught friend was grieving and not certifiably insane. Mr Martin nodded. He’d been there and done that, “Good luck” he mouthed back.

“Do you forgive me? Please forgive me. I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t. Dude, I am so not gay, but now that we…we did it, I’m gay for you and you alone. Take me, use me, love me, I’m yours but I don’t want to rush you. I just need you to know that it’s my fault that this happened and while you might feel that your life is falling apart I will catch you. I won’t let you fall.”

Strains of _“The Wind Beneath my Wings”_ floated out from Mrs Chiloski’s apartment and Jared couldn’t help but wonder what deity he had ticked off to be punished because he had played such a childish trick on his best friend.

Jensen prattled on, “I will be there for you because I lo…I lo…because I really like you and your cock is enormous. So you’re a shower right? You know we really must measure that thing, because I’ve never seen anyone that big, not that I would really know of course. Hey don’t think I sleep around or anything because you’re my first. Anyway I’m a grower, not a shower, but you probably already know that, but oh my fucking god, you, lover, have one very impressive cock,” he moaned as memories he didn’t actually have assaulted him.

The Graham family chose that moment to exit their apartment on their way to church and Jared tried hard to ignore their blatant stares, as Mr Graham quickly ushered their two children into the elevator. Jared was mortified as Mrs Graham winked at him and blew him a kiss and the last thing he heard before the elevator doors closed was Mrs Graham saying, “What Malcolm? All I’m saying is anyone that tall with those massive feet well it just makes sense if you know what I mean.”

Jared was screwed by Jensen yet again and not a bodily fluid had passed between them. This was so typical of Jensen. He said the first thing that came to mind, irregardless of where he was or who he was with, and then wallowed in guilt when he thought he made a mistake. Only problem was, his guilt made him loopy which meant the guy just wreaked havoc wherever he went until he sorted everything out in his head. Consequently Jared had an overpowering urge to shake some sense into Jensen before things really got out of hand; but the feelings that Jensen stirred in Jared as he writhed against him warred with his better judgment, so he stayed put and let Jensen have his moment of madness. 

“Ignore them my lover, let them think what they want. We are, who we are and we are destined to be together,” Jensen waffled on. “I won’t desert you.” 

He promptly pulled Jared’s head down and kissed him soundly. 

Jared wasn’t sure what to do with his hands and less certain what to do with Jensen, so he went with the flow and kissed his friend back. Hell he was only human and besides Jensen had the most perfect lips. They were everything he had ever imagined and more. 

_God the man can kiss! God I just kissed a man! God I want to kiss that man again!_

They broke apart and Jensen cupped Jared’s chin lovingly, “Better than the first time.” 

Enough was enough. Jared knew he had to end this and went to tell Jensen that it was all a joke, but Jensen placed his finger tips on Jared’s lips, “Shh no words,” he whispered as _And They Called It Puppy Love_ echoed down the hall.

The fact that Jensen had no memory of kissing Jared seemed entirely beside the point at that moment to Jensen at least. “I want to stay but it’s probably best that I leave you to think about it all. Just know that I’m sorry and when you’re ready I will be waiting, and don’t worry I bought more condoms and lube because with what you’re packing we’re gonna need it.”

Mr Graham returned to his apartment just as those very words passed Jensen’s thoroughly kissed lips. “I forgot my Bible,” Mr Graham muttered as he rushed past the men. As he exited his apartment once more, he stopped and glared at Jared. “You know it’s a sin? God punishes sinners!”

Jared looked to the ceiling seeking divine intervention, took a steadying breath when none came and tried to explain, “Look it’s not what you think…”

Jensen of course, true to form, remained plastered to Jared nuzzling his neck. He seemed totally oblivious to what was happening. He was so high on life that Jared feared he might float away so he wrapped his arms more firmly around his one-can-short-of-a-six-pack friend to ground him and protect him in case Mr Bible Basher burst his bubble.

“You can lie to me, but God knows the truth. You have made your bed and now you must lie in it,” Mr Graham was working up to full evangelist mode as his voice rose to fever pitch and he waved his Bible on high.

“I’ve laid in it; it’s enormous,” Jensen matter-of-factly informed the distressed neighbor. 

“Shut up Jen,” Jared groaned.

“Repent! Repent before your maker!” Mr Graham shouted as he scurried to the elevator.

“I didn’t know he knew Kripke?” Jensen commented as he watched Jared’s neighbor disappear form view.

Jared sighed heavily, rolled his eyes and thought, _kill me, kill me now._

“So I have to love you and leave you yet again,” Jensen whispered as he placed his hand on Jared’s heart. “See you on the set tomorrow,” and with those parting words he fled down the hall and Jared was left to consider what kind of monster he had created. In fact, Jared just stood there watching where Hurricane Jensen had been and he was sure that papers swirled into the air as Jensen flew by. The man just had this knack of making the simple so impossibly complicated sometimes. Being around Jensen was like trying to stay stationary when a category five hurricane blew in from the Gulf. It just bowled you over and so did Jensen; except the guy didn’t know what power he wielded sometimes. 

Part of Jared was stunned that Jensen still believed that they had slept together, while the other half of him couldn’t believe his friend was so frigging gullible. The man was a brilliant actor, seemed incredibly intelligent; practiced his faith and all around appeared well grounded and untouched by Hollywood and yet every so often Jensen exhibited the other side of his nature; the one where he fucked anything with a heart beat and a zip code and was as stupid as a whore at a church picnic. The guy could be a real fruit loop at times and Jared sighed guessing that this was one of those times.

Of course the other nagging doubt he had was that maybe Jensen actually did remember everything and was now playing Jared for the fool. Maybe, just maybe this was payback.

 _Well two could play that game Jenny boy._ he thought as he fingers touched his still tingling lips. _God the guy could kiss!_

He closed the door and began to plot revenge and wondered just how far Jensen would let this go before he caved in. He was startled from his musings by a voice from the bedroom. “Jared honey who was at the door?”

Sandy, bless her little cotton socks, had come for a visit and would be there for week. Jared had only found out on Friday that she was coming the next day and hadn’t bothered to tell Jensen, because his friend needed his undivided attention the other night. Besides Jensen loved Sandy and would have been thrilled to know she was in town and Jared had fully intended to tell Jensen about her after they had stopped laughing about the joke. 

“Oh just a lunatic from the funny farm hon wondering where his padded cell had gone,” Jared muttered as he wandered to the kitchen to get a drink.

“What did you say baby?”

“I said it was Major Disaster. He had his wires crossed and needed to find his way home,” he explained, his head half stuck in the refrigerator looking for something to take the taste of Jensen from his mouth; not that he didn’t savor the taste, he just didn’t want Sandy to enjoy it as well. Jensen was his after all...sort of, for the purposes of the joke at least he assured himself.

“You’re so sweet to help him,” she called back.

“You have no idea.” 

He leant against the bench and took a swig of beer. 

_Well if Jen seriously doesn’t remember what happened then the week ahead is gonna be really interesting in more ways than one._

As he wandered back to Sandy he decided that regardless of whether Jensen remembered or didn’t remember, revenge was sweet, payback’s a bitch and he couldn’t wait to see Jensen squirm…preferably against him when the truth and hopefully some body parts came out.

*************************************************

Part 3

**“The Way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions” (Don Miguel Ruiz)**

 

Jared spent the rest of his Sunday deciding how to bring about Jensen’s downfall while still trying to be attentive to Sandy. *sigh* Sandy! He loved her visits, loved her bubbly nature and well just loved her, but sometimes he preferred death by toilet drowning rather than have to listen to her prattle about the unfairness of reality TV and her ongoing complaint about her ill fated and short lived tryout for the _Pussycat Dolls_. He loved her, he _really_ did, but her incessant drivel left him brain dead. Besides at this point in time he wanted his head full of all things Jensen rather than the mindless stuff she was babbling about. Yes indeed Jared had much bigger things on his mind. 

_Jenny, this is a last man standing situation and I’m gonna be the one to take you down._

Monday morning rocked around and here he was up at the crack of dawn waiting for his ride to the set and bouncing from foot to foot with anticipation about his plans to bring Jensen to his knees. Jared couldn’t have been happier because he could finally escape Sandy, who he was convinced could talk under wet cement and finally, he would get to see Jensen again. He had decided to go with the flow and see what moves Jensen made before escalating the joke, but escalation was definitely his intention and if he scored another kiss from those perfect Ackles lips in the process then he wouldn’t argue; after all Jared had to get something more out of all this other than a “hey fucker I won.” 

The SUV pulled up out front and Jared bounded out to it. His co-star, as usual, was picked up first and when Jared climbed into the back next to Jensen he couldn’t help but feel that Jensen looked afraid and…no!...he couldn’t be!…submissive?!

“Hello Jay,” Jensen monotoned as if he expected to be hit or yelled at or jumped on or worse rejected.

Jared couldn’t resist stirring things up a little and in his most seductive voice asked, “Hey Jen, ya miss me?”

And that’s all it took. Jensen changed from submissive to dominant in the blink of an eye and Jared was mesmerized as Jensen quivered, moaned and all but flew into his lap. Jensen was all hands and legs as he ground himself against Jared who was flaying his arms in an impression of a drowning man in a riptide. The really funny thing was that Jared had thought he would be in control of the joke and yet once again Jensen got one up on him…literally. Jared just couldn’t work out how Jensen managed it but he wasn’t going to just lay there and take it; Jared fought back.

So here it was at “o” dark thirty on a Monday morning with two six foot something men wrestling for dominance on the back seat of an SUV that was hurtling through the icy streets of Vancouver with a driver who was getting decidedly distracted by all the commotion going on behind her. 

“We okay? Yeah we’re Okay,” Jensen gasped as he sucked on Jared’s neck.

“Oh god,” Jared couldn’t tell if Jensen was acting or sincere but either way all Jared’s plans for the day evaporated as his blood supply headed south. The pressure of Jensen bearing down on his lap and the constant nipping and licking of his hyper-sensitive skin had Jared hard in heartbeat. 

_Traitor! You’re supposed to be on my side,_ he grumbled as little Jared made a big entrance.

“Jen! Jen!” he whispered breathlessly so as not to draw attention to their situation; but it was no good Jensen was hell bent on… _oh geez!!_ He forcefully tried to get Jensen to sit next to him but Jensen was currently in the process of pushing Jared’s t-shirt up while kissing his way down to parts that had no right to be awake.

“I thought you might’ve changed your mind,” Jensen murmured as his tongue lapped Jared’s nipples. “Tell me you want me. You do want me, don’t you Jay?” He sucked hard on a nub and then tenderly soothed it with his perfect lips and eager tongue. 

Jared shoved a fist into his mouth to stifle the moan.

“Told you I’d make it good for you.”

When Jensen’s hands moved to undo Jared’s belt some of Jared’s will power reasserted itself, if for no other reason than he so didn’t want to have their first time with their driver looking on. The fact that he even considered a first time seemed to have slid right on passed him, but hey, Jared was a little preoccupied at the time. Anyway while Jared might never have entertained sex with a man before he’d have to be inhuman to not get turned on by what Jensen was doing as he writhed on him.

Jared desperately tried to still Jensen’s hands but the SUV lurched around a corner and he failed to find purchase and fell to the floor of the vehicle with Jensen on top of him. That seemed to inspire Jensen who took the opportunity to hump Jared’s leg with a fervor that would put Jared’s dog Harley to shame. 

“Jay, Jay…” Jensen whimpered.

“Jen, Jen…” Jared pleaded.

“That’s enough!” The driver shouted. “What the hell is going on back there?” 

And then there was quiet, if you ignored the heavy breathing, as they lay entwined with Jared’s arms firmly around Jensen and Jensen straddling Jared with his head nestled in the crook of his lover’s neck.

“Don’t make me stop this car and come back there. Now what are you moron twins up to?”

“Nothing!” They replied as innocently as they could, considering their current situation. 

“Like hell,” replied the driver. “Now get back up on that seat. Sit apart and keep your hands to yourselves. You boys are rocking my ride and if you two don’t behave, stars or no stars, you will be walking to the set if you keep this nonsense up. You boys hear me?”

“Yes Ma’am,” they mumbled having been suitably rebuked.

Jensen sat still for all of about five seconds before he reached out to hold Jared’s hand. He almost made it until…

“What did I just say?” The voice bellowed from the dark.

He snatched his hand back and squashed into the far corner of the vehicle, just in case she changed her mind and decided to drop him off on some lonely crossroads.

Jared was equally concerned for his safety especially as he was sitting next to his over sexed co-star while being driven by one very pissed off driver. He idly wondered what he needed to sacrifice at midnight in order to escape the ride in one piece and win the joke, but right now neither situation seemed likely.

He stole a furtive glance at Jensen in the dim light and was stunned to see his friend fog up the window and with his finger draw a heart and write “Jen L Jay.” 

_What the fuck?!_

To say that Jared was confused was an understatement. He still had no idea whether Jensen was just playing him, but he had a nagging suspicion that his “I’m too pretty to be a boy” friend was blissfully unaware that he was the victim of practical joke. No-one could be that stupid for so long, but then again Jensen did have these bizarre moments when he just didn’t know which way was up. Like the time they did that interview in London when they were three sheets to the wind and Jensen admitted that he had stolen sporting equipment as a teenager and that he liked to walk around his house naked. Yeah okay so Jared did mention that he liked to masturbate but Jensen started it. The point is, where alcohol is concerned some folks became happy drunks or sad drunks but Jensen becomes a no inhibitions drunk who lets his mouth go places it really had to no right to go. So if Jensen genuinely believed that he had fucked Jared at the height of a drunken stupor because Jared hinted that they had, then Jensen would believe him because Jensen knew his inner Jenny came out when he was drunk. Consequently Jared now had bigger worries on his hands other than how he intended to get one up on Jensen in the jokes tally. 

The problem was though that no matter how much he wanted to believe he had truly tricked Jensen he still had this niggling doubt that he was in fact the one being pranked. Jensen was a consummate actor and if anyone could pull off a payback joke it was Jensen Ackles. For all Jared knew Jensen could be sitting here right now playing the lovesick fool while he was in fact planning his next move to prove he was the master trickster.

So Jared was none the wiser and decided the safest course of action was to continue with Plan A, that being take it to the limit and see what comes up, goes down or falls apart. Whatever happened it would be funny to see it all unfold or unravel depending on how things went, but if Jared had his way it would all go very well indeed.

If Jared thought that having a plan would ensure his victory then he hadn’t counted on his every footstep being dogged by a very doting lover. From the minute they exited the vehicle Jensen was all touchy feely, arms wrapped around Jared’s shoulders, massaging him, hugging him and even a kiss or two. Jared had laid down the law after that. He held Jensen at arms length, looked down into those impossible trusting eyes and emphatically stated that under no circumstances would they kiss in public…kissing was for the trailers and home. Jensen nodded that he understood and then promptly tried to drag Jared to his trailer. Of course the fact that Jared had just given Jensen permission to fool around with him in private seemed to escape Jared’s attention and certainly focused Jensen’s. So much for being straight boys! 

Life seemed to take on a decidedly downhill and picking up speed run for Jared after that; it was like being the passenger in a car and seeing a truck coming straight for you. You just had you hang on and hope that you survived the impact.

In makeup when the girls noticed the numerous bruises which were still quite evident on Jensen’s arms all hell broke lose. 

“Sweetie how did you get those?” One of the girls asked as she examined his wrists and arms.

Jensen beamed and proudly announced, “Jared did it.”

“Jensen!” Jared roared embarrassed by the implications of his friend’s remark.

“Jared !” The girls scolded as they glared at Jared like he had just kicked a puppy.

“What?” He tried for blasé and ended up sounding petulant.

“You shouldn’t be so rough with him and now we have to cover him up.”

Apparently Dean had to wear a t-shirt for most of the shoot that day and after much tut-tutting and “oh my gods” the girls agreed that it would be too difficult to try and cover the marks; a wardrobe change would be the simplest solution.

One of the girls raced to wardrobe to relay the problem and soon enough a very irate wardrobe mistress strutted into the makeup trailer.

“Learn to play nice,” she growled at Jared. “And try to keep the marks to places where the audience won’t see. Got it?”

“But I didn’t…”

“Don’t give me details and be a good boy in future.”

“Oh he was good boy this time,” Jensen happily informed her.

“Jensen!” Jared implored. Things were getting entirely out of hand.

“Jared!” the wardrobe lady scolded as she fussed about Jensen who smiled happily and let her do her thing, while the make ups girls blushed and giggled as Jared tried to pretend he was invisible.

It was no better later on the set. The number of times that Jensen flubbed his lines because he was ogling Jared left Kripke grinding his teeth, Kim Manners tearing his hair out and the production crew ready to kill the pair of them slowly and painfully and no doubt creatively. This was certainly not how this joke was supposed to play out. Jared wished he had never started the whole thing because right now he just wanted to hide in a corner and hope it would all go away, but with Jensen merrily playing the gay boyfriend it seemed like sanity and harmony were as elusive as world peace. 

“Take a break folks. Fifteen minutes,” Kripke announced to one and all as he stalked over to Jared. “This is your fault Padalecki.” 

“My fault?” Jared whined as he watched Jensen idly scuff his boot in the dirt seemingly oblivious to the havoc he was wreaking around him. “What did I do wrong? He’s the one who keeps messing up.” Jared pouted as he tried and failed to stare Kripke down.

_Yeah way to go Jared; let Jensen think he fucked you and he turns into a sex starved, lovesick boyfriend and now everyone blames you. It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know he secretly wanted me?_

“Yes, this is your fault. I don’t know what you did and I don’t want to know. Just fix it and do it quickly.”

“Just fix it and do it quickly,” Jared mimicked under his breath as he grabbed Jensen by the shirt and hauled him back to his trailer. 

As they headed to the trailer Jensen seemed to come alive, much to Jared’s surprise. Once inside Jared found himself plastered to the wall by a very amorous and tactile Jensen. Jared had told Jensen that the trailer was a kissing zone, so Jensen was making up for lost time. Mind you Jared wasn’t complaining, not really, because he’d been dreaming of those lips since their first kiss yesterday but he really didn’t have time for this now. As much as he would enjoy having Jensen’s tongue down his throat he needed to do some damage control quickly or Kripke would have his balls for dinner and Jensen’s cock for dessert.

He tried to push Jensen back, but Jensen countered every move with roaming hands and kisses that should come with a surgeon general’s health warning. Jared’s resolve weakened and before long he was giving as good as he got and…what the hell was Jensen doing?

Jared’s brain short circuited when Jensen undid his jeans and stroked his cock.

“Oh god!” Jared stuttered as a white heat coiled in his belly as those incredibly determined fingers engulfed him. 

“It’s all right; he said we had fifteen minutes.”

“What?”

“Shhh. Let me.”

With a firm grip Jensen stroked Jared in a rhythm guaranteed to get him off but Jared wanted more. As much as he enjoyed what Jensen was doing to him, Jared had a whole morning of touches and caresses to work out of his system and he intended to work them out on Jensen. Through sheer force and animal lust he swung them around so that Jensen was now backed up against the wall and using his height to his full advantage, Jared pressed his body against Jensen’s and grabbed Jensen’s wrists in one hand holding them high above his head.

“This what you want Jen? You want me to control you?

“Yeesss. 

“You want me Jen?”

“You! Want you.”

His other hand palmed Jensen through his jeans. “So hard.” Jared nipped along Jensen’s jaw. 

“It’s better than I remembered,” Jensen grunted as his hips thrust forward. “More.”

“That was a whole sentence I mustn’t be doing it right.” Jared rumbled in Jensen’s ear. So he redoubled his efforts and before long Jensen seemed to melt in his arms and all Jared could hear between wet kisses and moans was Jensen begging for release.

Jared needed no further encouragement. With his free hand he shoved his own jeans down and breathed a sigh of relief as his cock sprung free. 

“You want me to touch you Jen?”

“Jay…”

“You wanna come?”

“Please…plea…” his words choked off as Jared roughly shoved Jensen’s jeans down, rucked up his shirt and captured both their cocks in one in his hand. 

“Feel good?” Jared asked as he stroked them mercilessly. “Yeah it feels great doesn’t it? You and me we needed this Jen. All those touches, those hands, those lips. Do you know what you do to me Jenny? Do you know the things I want to do to you?”

Jensen’s eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth hung open and with every stroke of Jared’s hand his hips thrust forward in anticipation and need.

“Not enough time to do everything I want,” He bit Jensen’s lower lip. “But this will have to do.”

“Please…” Jensen pleaded. 

“Open your eyes. I want to watch you come. I want you to watch me come.”

Jared had never seen Jensen so wanton or so needy. Actually Jared had never seen Jensen hard and in the throes of passion before either, but that was beside the point. The man’s lips were swollen and glistened with spit and a drop of blood where he bit too hard, his breathing was erratic and his skin flushed and covered in a fine sheen of sweat and when Jensen opened his eyes, Jared saw what he guessed was mirrored in his own eyes…lust and desire. Yes this was a sight Jared wouldn’t forget in a hurry. Jensen just looked so damn fuckable.

Jared shoved his thigh between Jensen legs and smiled ferally as his co-star shrieked with surprise.

“Jay let me come,” he begged.

“Come together.”

“Yes!” He hissed.

“You with me Jen?”

Jensen threw his head back and begged, pleaded and cursed up a storm but just as he was about to come there was a knock at the door.

Jared’s hand flew from holding Jensen’s hands to covering Jensen’s mouth in a vain attempt to stifle the scream that threatened to tell not only who was at the trailer door but the entire set just what they were doing.

“Jared, Jensen?” The PA called. “You’re needed on the set.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide, half with fear that the woman had heard them and half with fear that Jared would stop.

Jared for his part was as close as Jensen was to spilling his load so there was no turning back now as he pumped their cocks faster.

“Jared, Jensen you hear me?”

Jared mustered what little mental strength he had left and squeaked, “We’re coming!” 

And then it happened. As white hot strips of cum erupted from their cocks and coated Jared’s hand and their stomachs; Jared came, Jensen went…out cold.…

_Damn I’m good…Oh shit!!...Oh fuck Kripke’s gonna kill me._

****************************************************

Part 4

**There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke” (Herman Melville)**

 

_I just cheated on my girlfriend, had sex when my best friend and we have to get to the set before we end up dish pigs in some sleazy diner. I hate my life!_

Jared couldn’t believe what he/they had just done. They were both supposed to be straight! So how the hell did two het boys who weren’t drunk end up like this? Jared had no idea why his inner self chose today to go rainbow, but it did. Still he _wasn’t_ gay he was sure of it; he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake. Guys with girlfriends don’t do other guys…usually anyway. That’s just the way it is, or was, until he decided to play that stupid joke. Since then everything had gone wrong. Jensen was supposed to be dieing of embarrassment not passed out with passion and since when did Jensen get to be so damn hot and adorable and…

 _I’m not gay!!_

In fact he was so not gay that he just jacked off his best friend and co-star while at work no less. Said friend was now in a sex induced coma plastered against him, while cooling cum glued them together, pants pooled at their feet, hair stuck out in all directions, makeup pretty much kissed away and yet they were supposed to be back on set like, NOW ready to fix up what they had fucked up earlier. 

Jared had to admit though, that despite their current predicament he was pretty proud of himself. He had never had anyone pass out before, but then none of his other bed buddies had ever been that into it, or out it for that matter and Jensen was definitely out of it. In fact he had been a whack job since he woke up the other day. Jared wasn’t sure if it was because of the hangover or some other reason, but occasionally Jensen did seem to go weird. Those times were usually associated with him having had some major problem where he ended up worried sick, just like he’d been on Friday and now he was once again in the middle of a bizarre phase. 

He vainly tried to rouse his unconscious lover but had no luck. Jensen was out for the count. Indeed all attempts to revive his sexed up, zoned out, clueless, shit for brains friend failed bitterly and since Jared couldn’t pull his pants up because he had an armful of blissful Jensen, he was forced to shuffle them both to the couch. 

_Nothing is ever simple with this guy. Jen next time we do it in a bed, so when you pass out at least I won’t have to hold you up… What the fuck am I DOIN’??? NEXT TIME? What’s wrong with me? I just cheated on Sandy with my best friend, who thinks we already did it days ago. I am lying to the two people I care most about, but this situation, this right now, is all your fault Jensen._

The fact that Jared may have actually caused this snowball effect of cascading disasters seemed to have passed him by as he unceremoniously dropped Jensen half on half off the couch, admired the view for a microsecond, hoisted his pants and raced to the bathroom to clean up. With attire firmly back where it was supposed to be and a few deep breaths to center himself, Jared returned with a wet face cloth to clean up Jensen. He wiped away the last visual evidence of their little fling, rearranged Jensen’s clothes and slapped him gently about the face.

“Come on man. This isn’t funny. Wake up. Kripke wants us.”

“God? ‘m here.” Jensen mumbled as he slowly opened his lust clouded eyes, “Jay? Wha..?.” But other than licking his lips he just laid there. “What happened?”

“You do that often?”

“Huh?”

“Pass out when you come. Warn a guy next time. Scared the shit out of me.”

_Warn a guy? What’s wrong with me? This is so not gonna happen again._

Jensen blushed scarlet.

_Oh yeah when alcohol isn’t involved he remembers all right._

“Come on we need to get back to the set. You with me Jen?”

“Now?” Jensen started to undo his pants. 

It was at that point that Jared should have been worried. What he failed to realize was that the light was on, but nobody was home. In fact Jensen was right at the stage where the globe was about to blow. 

“Jen leave your clothes dude. I dressed ya already. Now get up.”

Getting up didn’t seem to be too big a problem but staying up was a real challenge.

“Steady there,” Jared pulled Jensen close because he really didn’t want to have to explain to Kripke how one of his stars broke their face when they nose dived the floor. “Okay. One foot in front of the other and off we go. Gonna go make lots of money being big actors. You remember we act dontcha Jen?”

“Yeah.” Although he didn’t sound terribly convinced of the fact.

“You remember your lines?” He shoved Jensen out of the trailer and all but dragged him to where they were filming. When Jensen didn’t answer Jared prompted “Jen? Your lines. You remember them? You know we’re doing that scene where Sam gets drunk and he asks Dean to kill him if he goes dark side.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t though.”

“I know, but Dean might have to.” 

“But why would I kill you? I like you.”

Jared sighed, somehow the looming disaster that was to be their afternoon started to impinge on his consciousness. “I like you too but Jen the show, the words, it’s not real. We can talk about _us_ later but right now you have to be Dean and Dean does that kind of shit okay?”

“Okay.” Jensen stumbled slightly and his words were slurred. “I’d never hurt you.”

Jared felt like a jerk. This stupid joke is gonna hurt Jensen he just knew it. Of all the consequences that might have come out of it Jared had never considered that hurting Jensen would be one of them, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Yeah I know man,” And it was the truth Jared knew that all too well.

As they walked onto the set Jared noticed Kripke, brow furrowed, lips puckered, just watching them like a lion ready to pounce on prey and Jared prayed, though somehow he doubted it possible, that they could get through the rest of the day with the minimum of fuss and savaging. 

The makeup girls fussed around doing what they do best and neither Jared nor Jensen said a thing as the girls tsked, tsked at having to reapply so much makeup. The wardrobe lady commented that boys will be boys, but wanted to know how they got their clothes so wrinkled in only fifteen minutes. Neither man responded but then Jared doubted Jensen was actually mentally with it enough to say anything other than his name, which didn’t bode well for the scene they were about to film.

Kim Manners strolled to his chair. “Places everyone. Boys on your marks.” Jared had to poke Jensen to get him to move. “Now Jared, Sam is drunk because he thinks he has failed and Dean walks in to find his little brother wasted. 

Jared nodded.

“He’s not little,” Jensen exclaimed.

Jared choked. 

Kim laughed, “Fine smartass but he’s still Dean’s _younger_ brother, so Dean has to look surprised when he finds him drunk off his face.”

Jensen frowned.

Jared groaned. That truck that has been bearing down on him since this whole thing started is about to hit, he just knew it.

Kim called for quiet on the set, “Okay so let’s take it from Sam’s line /i>you’re bossy. Action!”

Jared became Sam and drunkenly told Dean, “You’re bossy and short.” But instead of Dean asking Sam _Are you drunk?_ Jensen seemed to visibly crumble and replied brokenly, “But I thought you liked me?”

“Cut! Cut!” Manners yelled. “Lay off the jokes guys. We’ve wasted enough time already today.”

Jared nodded, laughed worriedly and ushered Jensen back to his mark.

“From the top. Take two. Action!”

“You’re bossy and short.”

“Not that short! You seemed to manage all right,” Was the indignant reply.

“Cut! Jensen your line is _Are you drunk?”_

“But _he’s_ not drunk.”

“I know that Jensen because Jared is acting. You remember what acting is don’t you?”

Jensen seemed to ponder the question and then nodded.

“So act already,” Kim ordered. “Marks. Take three. Action!”

“You’re bossy and short.”

Jensen just stood there his bottom lip wibbled and Jared could have sworn the guy was about to burst into tears.

“Cut! Dam it Jensen. This is not funny…”

“Kim could I talk to Jensen for a minute?” Jared tried to stem Kim’s tirade.

“Fine but make it quick and knock some sense into him if you have to.”

Jared hauled Jensen away from prying eyes. “Dude you have to focus or you’ll lose your job, we both will.” He patted Jensen’s cheek. “Come on Jen, snap out of it. It was just an orgasm.”

Jensen just stared at him blankly; so Jared tried another way to break through the post orgasmic haze. “Jen I don’t think you’re short or bossy. You’re perfect for me.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” and Jared was sincere, Jen was perfect. If he was gay, which he so totally wasn’t, but if he was then Jensen would be his ideal lover. After all, the man was drop dead gorgeous, had incredible lips, amazing eyes and a very impressive cock. All that bullshit about being a grower not a shower; Jensen showed plenty and then some earlier but as Jared reminded himself…HE WASN’T GAY SO THAT STUFF DIDN’T MATTER but Jen didn’t need to know that right now.

“Jen you do know that Sam is supposed to be drunk right?”

“Not you!”

“No not me.”

“And you know that I like you or we wouldn’t have…” he waved his arm around trying to find the words “…wouldn’t have fooled around.”

“I liked it.”

“Yeah so did I, but if you don’t do this right we will end up unemployed and we might not see each other again.” Jensen’s eyes grew wide. “Do this and I promise I will fuck you blind later but stuff it up and we may never get the chance.”

He clutched Jared’s arms. “NO!”

“YES!” Jared peeled Jensen’s fingers off his arms, put his hands on Jensen’s shoulders and looked down at him as he patiently explained. “Jen focus on me, come on give me all you’ve got and I promise I will make it good for you.”

_Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll forget I said that._

“Okay.”

“Good then let’s go.”

They returned to their places and Jared told Kim that they were ready to continue.

“Okay from the top. Take four. Action!”

“You’re bossy and short.”

Jensen grinned and then launched into Jared’s lap kissing him passionately.

“CUT! CUT!” Kim screamed obscenities to anyone who was in spitting distance, while Kripke descended from on high to lord over his domain from a chair.

“What the fuck was that?” Kripke demanded.

“Huh?” Jensen succinctly answered as he cautiously climbed off Jared.

“You do know that Sam and Dean are brothers right? I don’t know what goes on where you come from, but where I grew up brothers don’t kiss each other until their toes curl up. So what the hell were you doing?”

“What he said.”

“What who said?” Kripke prodded.

Without looking at Jared, Jensen raised his arm and pointed to his stunned co-star. “Jay. He said focus on him so I did.”

Kripke rose to his full hobbit height and roared, “Padalecki did I or did I not tell you to fix him?” 

“Uhm…”

“So what in the name of Sam Hill did you do?”

“Well…ah…”

Kripke’s eyed dilated, “No you didn’t! On my set?”

“No…not really…”

“Trailer,” Jensen offered helpfully.

“Padalecki I said fix him, not fuck him!”

“I…we…shit…”

Jared watched as Kripke lost it. In fact his antics reminded Jared of a when you let go of a balloon and it whizzes around the room bouncing off everything and making those weird hissing and pinging noises. That was Eric Kripke at that very moment and Jared couldn’t help but wince as he watched the little guy deconstruct. 

Kripke, with hands on hips, stood on his ~~throne~~ chair and faced down his nemesis. “You don’t have to take the advertising seriously Jared. The slogan _Supernatural Just Got Sexy_ is not a license to fuck your co-star senseless. Lord knows he has enough brainless moments as it is. So go feed him, get some coffee into him and get him focused because right now he’s as focused as a fart. I, on the other hand, will be meeting with studio execs to explain why we are running behind schedule and I swear, if you bring him back worse than when he left here, I will kick your ass all the way to LA. May I remind you that this is a show about supernatural events, anything can happen. Sam may die suddenly and painfully, and then be resurrected in the form of Lex Luthor. So don’t push your luck Padalecki because it ran out three hours ago.” 

Jensen eyes grew wide during Kripke’s performance but when Jared opened his mouth to speak and Kripke held up his hand to stem the interruption, Jensen was awe struck. As the finger of god was raised on high Jensen fell to his knees and kissed Kripke’s feet.

“Forgive me for I have sinned,” Jensen implored.

With twitching eyes and pursed lips Kripke glanced from Jensen to Jared and inquired, “What’s he doing?”

Jared looked at Jensen then back to Kripke, shrugged and replied, “Praying?”

The earth began to shake and self preservation kicked in, so Jared took a step back, “Get-him-out-of-here-before-I-decide-to-have-Sam-and-Dean-reincarnated-as-Samantha-and-Deanna. Now be gone!” He pointed to the exit.

He didn’t have to be told twice, Jared quickly dragged the prostrate Jensen to the craft services tent and deposited him at a table on his own; lord knows no-one else needed to be inflicted with him. He joined the food line to get them some lunch and absently noted that the tent was filling up. He wished he could just take Jensen and hide away from prying eyes; but he dare not cross Kripke again who was last seen comforting Kim Manners who seemed on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

He was quietly gathering some food when he heard the unmistakable trill…

“You hoo? Jared? Surprise!”

_There are ants at every picnic but today they are fire ants. Aren’t I the lucky one!_

He put his food tray down, turned and found himself with an armful of Sandy. 

“Sandy what are you doing here?” Jared didn’t need to sound surprised because hell, he was.

“Hey baby, I went shopping and I bought…” Jared zoned out and joined Jensen in that happy place. “…So I thought I would surprise you.” She then consumed him much like a praying mantis on the discovery channel…well she kissed him.

There were a few snickers, a wolf whistle or two and one very loud and irate voice that screamed, “You’re cheating on me?”

Jared, with lips still locked on Sandy’s, opened his eyes looked past his girlfriend and saw Jensen who had risen to his feet and was clearly unimpressed with what was going on. People scrambled in all directions to escape the fallout but also to ensure they had ringside seats.

_I’m so dead._

Sandy climbed out of Jared’s arms and faced Jensen. “Jared?” She was clearly confused by what was going on.

Jared giggled nervously. Sadly he wasn’t confused. This was his head on collision moment. Impact was but a second away so he braced himself and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Jared!” Jensen and Sandy both yelled.

IMPACT… “No I’m not cheating on either of you… technically.”

“Technically?” Sandy repeated. “And just what does that mean?”

“Well Jensen and I just kissed…”

“Just kissed my ass,” Jensen shouted at him. “And we probably did that too. You just jerked me off in my trailer until I passed out and I fucked you senseless the other night. Just how technical does it have to get Jared?” 

“You slept with him?” Sandy accused. “You slept with Jensen?” Her voice dropped an octave, “You slept with a man?”

Jared tried to reply but he seriously had no idea what to say, so he turned to the lady behind the counter at craft services, “Hi Sally what’s the chef’s special?” he asked hoping his attempt at normality would diffuse the situation.

“Humble pie, hot stuff,” she replied as she winked at him.

Jared blushed. Jensen threw his arms out in disgust and Sandy asked, “What you’re sleeping with her too?”

Jared quirked an eyebrow in surprise, looked back at the woman behind the counter; she was sixty if she was a day and looked back at Sandy. Boy his lovers were not only jealous they were both stupid as well. 

“Jared why are you still with Sandy?” Jensen had his arms folded across his chest and was tapping his foot impatiently. “You said you dumped her.”

Sandy gasped. “He what? When the hell did he tell you that?” 

“Yesterday when I went to his place and we kissed and…”

Jared knew he had lost, so he decided to come clean. “Ok enough. I never said I dumped her…” Well his version of clean it would seem.

“But Jared I was at your place yesterday!” Sandy reminded him.

_How could I forget? You never shut up._

“The only time we weren’t together was when you answered the door. You said Major Disaster needed help.” 

The crowd burst out laughing.

“You two-timing pig,” she started to cry. “You lied to me.” 

“And me!” added Jensen who also began to sniff. “You bastard.”

“It’s not my fault. It was just a joke?”

Jensen looked aghast, “Being with me was a joke?”

“Yes! No! At first it was, but you threw me out…”

The crowd cheered, “Way to go Jensen,” someone shouted from the throng. Jared was sure it was Kripke who had entered the tent just as things started to get a little interesting and was now happily ensconced on a chair, megaphone in his hand.

“I didn’t know what to think,” Jensen threw back at him. “You said we slept together and we were naked and I…”

“Panicked? That’s the problem you got scared and then guilty and then you turned up on my doorstep and told my neighbors I have a big penis.”

Someone yelled, “I win the pot; so how big is big Sasquatch?”

“Bite me!” Jared snapped back

“You wish sunshine. I’ll leave that to your lovers.”

“You showed the neighbors your penis,” Sandy was appalled. “You got your penis out and showed your neighbors while I lay in your bed?”

“NO!”

“Then how do they know how big it is?”

“Jensen told them.”

“I did not.”

“Yes you did…”

“Give Jensen a break he was still in shock…” A Jensen supporter called out.

“More likely hung-over,” someone else suggested.

“That’s no excuse,” a woman shouted. “Men always use the, _I was drunk_ excuse.”

“Honey with your face there isn’t enough alcohol in the world that could make me use that as an excuse with you,” a guy from the crowd shot back.

And the sound of a fist hitting a face ricocheted around the tent. In the blink of an eye the tent had descended into anarchy. Tables were overturned, chairs flew through the air, cutlery whizzed passed and food decorated every surface. People not actively involved in the brawl dived for cover behind tables and tent poles in an effort to escape the fracas and the flying food. Anything not nailed down became a missile that hurtled by to crash into anyone or anything that was in its way. 

The lighting guys flashed the sound guys, the set design crew taped the camera guys, the makeup girls painted the wardrobe staff, the dolly grip clocked the best boy who in turn belted the gaffer, the stunt men threw stunt punches and stunt _kapow_ and _bam_ sound effects could be heard over the grunts and groans and the art department sketched everyone. Kripke shouted instructions through his megaphone, while dancing like an evil leprechaun on his chair and in the middle of it all, Sandy was beating the living crap out Jensen. 

_What the fuck?_

At the height of the carnage in walked Bob Singer and a visiting reporter. The reporter was there to discuss the recent sacking of a lightning technician and Bob, in his infinite wisdom, had suggested that they sit in the craft services tent and have a coffee so that the man could see for himself just how relaxed a work place the _Supernatural_ set was.

Bob ushered the stunned reporter to the where Jared stood, “George this is Jared Padalecki one of our two main stars. Jared, George here is from an online entertainment site; he’s come to see how well we get on.”

Jared shook the man’s hand, threw himself back to avoid a bottle that flew past his head and simply said, “Nice to meet ya.”

“What? Should have I worn a strap on to bed…”

“Couldn’t have hurt. Not like you could reach him without stilts anyway …”

“Okay. Well I hope you enjoy your visit George,” Jared told the shell-shocked man.

Bob was looking through the menu choices, “Now George I suggest we get something to eat before this lot decides they’re hungry. I recommend the tuna salad.”

The reporter instinctively ducked as bowl of tuna salad flew past. 

“Sorry love,” Sally replied. “Looks like we’re all out of tuna salad today.”

“So Sally,” Bob asked. “What do you suggest?”

“Still have a bit of fish left; if you’re quick.”

“What kind of fish?”

“Flying!” she deadpanned.

“Excellent. Two fish and a couple of coffees thanks Sal.” 

Jared watched in abject horror as Bob, with the reporter hot on his heels, collected the food and ducked and weaved his way to a spot near Kripke, who was continually shouting instructions and encouragement to the combatants…if _kick him, get him_ and _bring him down_ counted as encouragement. 

Bob handed the reporter the lunch tray while he righted two chairs and a table and invited the man to sit. 

“We have a very calm, harmonious set here.” He explained as he tucked into his lunch. “Everyone does their job well and the set is a happy place, no conflict.”

“You fucking bastard. Bad enough you sleep around but to steal _my_ boyfriend…”

“We try to provide a work environment that fosters freedom of speech and expression. You might want to lift your plate,” he warned the reporter as a stunt man was thrown across their table.

“I sleep around? Now that’s a joke. He’s the one who said that if I focused on him then he would fuck me blind…”

“We never need to resort to threats or inducements to get people to work...”

“He’s mine.”

“No he’s mine.”

“And as you can see we are a sharing, caring community.”

The reporter just stared open mouthed at the absolute carnage that was happening around him, while Bob, unperturbed by the riot, droned on about the benefits of people all pulling together for the good of a project.

While all this was happening Jared stood rooted to the spot. He was suffering from the fight or flight syndrome and flight was winning, as he watched every man and his dog get in on the action. He had never anticipated things would get so out of hand. It was supposed to be a stupid practical joke but he had single handedly managed to bring down the entire production because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut or his hands off Jensen. Now he had lost both lovers and his job all because he wanted to have a good laugh. 

_Way to go Padalecki!_

Just when thongs couldn’t get any worse; in walked Kripke’s PA with a couple of studio execs in tow. The situation went from bizarre to downright hysterical in a heartbeat as Kripke shouted loudly through his megaphone. 

“CUT! CUT!”

And silence reigned supreme.

“Okay folks that was great. I think we have a real understanding of how that scene will play out. Department heads we’ll meet in an hour to discuss ideas and good work people. Jared, Jensen you’re not needed until Thursday so enjoy the break and tomorrow we set up for our guest actors. So thank you, all of you for participating today and that’s a wrap folks.”

The execs seemed un-phased by what they had witnessed and Kripke offered no explanation and acted as if this was an every day occurrence.

However Jared knew how to read between the lines. He wasn’t always stupid just when it came to Jensen. He knew full well what Kripke really meant, he and Jensen had three days to fix things or they would be thrown to the wolves or more precisely the studio execs. 

_Damn the guy is smooth. The transition from antichrist to the almighty was seamless. Maybe Jensen is right the guy certainly seemed all powerful._

The reporter looked owlishly at the mayhem surrounding him and finally asked, “So that was all part of the show?”

“Of course!” Bob enthusiastically replied. “We believe in getting our people involved. It was part of an upcoming episode and we wanted to see if it was viable to use that scene or not.”

“So what’s the episode called?”

“ _Tall Tales,_ ” Bob replied matter-of-factly. “So George can I interest you in some dessert?”

“I guess. What’ve they got?”

“I believe it’s called _Fantasy Pie._!”

 

*************************************************

Part 5

**“The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.” (Ronnie Barker)**

 

Jared read the text message from Kripke again…

_“You’re paying for the damages fuckers. See you Thursday. PS I have Samantha and Deanna on speed dial so screw up and you and your boyfriend are toast.”_

_Okay so that’s clear enough. Now to the hard part…Jensen._

Jared took a steadying breath, wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and knocked on Jensen’s door. 

No answer.

He had a key but rather than just opening the door and walking in he decided it was wiser to knock. Anyway he guessed Jensen knew he would be around after everything that went on this morning and he honestly didn’t expect a warm welcome, but he was here and he needed to get inside and talk this through. Besides he knew Jensen was home; he could hear the television in the background and the unmistakable sounds of assorted objects being thrown against walls. 

_And the hits just keep on coming. Someone’s throwing a tantrum!_

He knocked again. 

“Fuck off Jared!” The voice was icy calm and devoid of the obvious emotional turmoil assailing its owner.

“Fuck you!” Jared bit back. Jensen is as much to blame for all this as he is, at least in Jared’s mind anyway.

“You wish. Leave me alone.”

“Can’t do that Jen, we have to work things out or we’re out of a job.”

“Don’t care!”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.”

_They say never work with kids and animals._

“Stop acting like a four year old. Besides I owe you something so you have to let me in.”

There was a pause, 

_And we have a winner._

“Owe me what?” 

_Tentative but curious that’s a good sign._

“Can’t give it to you out here or we’ll end up arrested and that would really suck with what I had planned.”

Jensen reluctantly opened the door an inch and peered around it, “What is it?”

“Well for starters an apology and also I recall something about fucking you blind. Now I have nothing against public sex, but I sorta figured our first time should be just us, don’t you?”

“First time?”

“Yeah first time Jen. Come on open up, let me in and I will tell you all about it. Then we can fuck.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that right? An arrogant, two-timing jerk.”

“Come on Jen don’t tell me you’re not interested, because you’ve spent the last few days throwing yourself at me. You want it, I want it, let’s do it.” Jared rang a hand through his hair and sighed, “And just so you know, if we do fuck then I won’t be cheating on anybody. Sandy left me, so open up. Please. I have to explain.”

Jensen stepped back and opened the door wider. “The explanation is fine,” he informed Jared as the younger man stepped inside. “But you can forget the fuck. I’m not interested in someone who...”

“Who what Jen? Made you come so hard you passed out. Yeah I can see why you’d never want to feel that good again.” Yes he was sarcastic but hey, getting through to his idiot co-star wasn’t going to work the conventional _lets talk like rational adults_ way after all that had happened.

“Fuck you! Just because Sandy dumped you doesn’t mean you can use me to get your rocks off.”

“Is that what you think?” Jared advanced on Jensen. He had the height and he intended to use it. “You know what I think?” Jensen shook his head, as he continued to step backwards to stay out of Jared’s personal space. “I think you want it. I think you really want me to pick you up and carry you off to the bedroom and fuck you into next week.”

“You’re delusional.” 

“And you’re lying.” He shoved Jensen up against a wall, thrust a knee between his thighs and captured his mouth passionately. 

_Argue that one Jen._

The stifled moan and thrust of the hips was all the proof Jared needed.

_The boy is so easy, but that’s just part of his charm._

He placed one hand firmly on the bulge in Jensen’s jeans and squeezed.

Jensen screamed in surprise. “Jared don’t…” he begged although he thrust forward to meet Jared’s hand.

“Don’t what Jen?”

“D-D-Don’t…” but his words were cut off as Jared did it again. “D-Don’t…” he gasped.

“D-D-Don’t what? Don’t touch you? Don’t fuck you or Don’t stop?” He squeezed again and felt Jensen swell in response. 

“Don’t stop,” Jensen admitted, defeated.

To say the whole thing wasn’t affecting Jared would be the understatement of the year, but Jared was on a mission, he had to stay focused to see this through. So he continued to place feather light kisses and nips along Jensen’s jaw and down his neck. While his hand rhythmically stroked up and down the length of Jensen’s bulge. It was enough to tantalize but not enough to get off on. 

“Jen we gonna do this?” 

“E-E-Explain,” Jensen reminded him, although it was obviously a struggle to formulate a thought let alone verbalize it.

“Not a problem but I have a request first,” Jared confessed.

“Request?” Jensen squeaked and Jared smiled at how strung out Jensen was.

Jared sucked on Jensen neck and then soothed the mark with his tongue. “Yeah a request.” He squeezed Jensen harder this time and the other man threw his head back and pleaded for release. “Not yet Jenny. Don’t want to rush it do we? We’ve got three days. Now where was I? Oh yes, my request. I will give you your explanation but you have to do something for me.”

“Anything?”

“Really? Anything?” Jared looked at him surprised. _Jensen must really want this._ “You don’t even know what I want.”

“But I now what _I_ want. Jared _plleeeeassse!_ ”

_Bingo!_

“I know what you want too, but you have to do this one thing for me or you don’t get an explanation and you don’t get to come. 

“You’re joking aren’t you?”

Jared just stared at him and idly massaged the back of Jensen’s neck while he waited for the man to give in.

“Fine what do you want?”

“I will tell you everything but you can’t talk….at all. You just have to listen. Moans, groans and laughing are allowed but you say one word and all bets are off. You talk and I leave. Then you don’t get the answers you want and you don’t get me which I think is something you really, _really_ want.” Jensen’s eyes were wide with lust, need and a healthy dose of fear. “So Jen you have to be quiet until I tell you, you can speak. Think you can do that?” 

He leant into Jensen, his body hard against his friend’s and his own cock firm and just as needy. “I want you Jen, I really do, but just this once I want it this way. Trust me I will make it something you will never forget. Besides I know how much you love games. So what’d ya say? You want to play with me Jen?”

Jensen thought it through for about a millisecond before replying. “Okay whatever; I’ll do it but just hurry…”

Jared placed his fingers tenderly on Jensen’s lips, “Shhh now. No more words. Let me take care of you.” And he sealed their bargain with a kiss, like a demon at a crossroads.

So the deal was set, although Jared was sure Jensen would have agreed to anything by now. With a final stroke of Jensen’s jeans covered hard on, he stepped back just a little and smiled as Jensen swayed toward him.

“Alright. This is gonna be great. Come on over to the front door.” When Jensen arched an eyebrow at the request Jared laughed. “Come on Jen trust me. It’ll all become clear very soon.”

“Okay so let me tell you a story,” Jared began as Jensen joined him by the door. “Last Friday night we went out drinking and had way too many shots of everything before coming back here to play some games. We challenged each other to all sorts of competitions, like the Playstation, hand standing and popcorn catching. I won that one of course and don’t say it was because I have a bigger mouth, because you wait until my mouth sucks your dry; I bet you won’t be complaining then.”

Jensen blushed.

Jared laughed kept talking. “Then the real fun began. We took those spud guns I picked up the other week in the dime store and played Texas rangers, and we pretended to be at the Alamo and when we stopped the game to oil our guns we discovered that you didn’t have any oil in the kitchen, but you said that there was KY Jelly in the bedroom.” 

He looked at Jensen who simply stared back at him with an unreadable look on his face. 

“Remember that greasy mark on your bedroom wall? Well, you did that.” Jensen looked bug-eyed at Jared as he relayed the details of Friday night. “No it’s not cum, just too much lube on the spud gun and the potato shot out a bit too mushy, hit the wall and slid down it. You were testing your weapon or so you said. At that point I wrestled you for the gun and those bruises,” he pointed to Jensen’s arms and wrists. “I did that trying to get the gun from you. Sorry about the bruises dude just don’t know my own strength sometimes.” Jared looked slightly embarrassed, shrugged and continued his story. 

“So do you know what else we did that night?”

Jensen made a loose fist and began imitating jerking off his nose.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jared asked confused by Jensen’s gesture and then it hit him. “Oh right I get it, you’re saying ‘fuck nose’ _as in fuck knows._ Hey that’s clever dude. Must remember that one…ouch.” Jared squealed.

Jensen had belted Jared on the arm and now stood tapping his foot impatiently. He was all business in a frazzled sexy kind of way.

“You’re bossy and you’re short; you know that right?” Jared muttered as he rubbed his arm.

Jensen flew at Jared and wrestled him to the ground but Jared simply rolled them over and pinned Jensen’s arms to his side while sitting on him. “Now Jen play nice or I will pack up my toys and go home.”

Jensen bucked and Jared bit Jensen’s shoulder. The subsequent moan told Jared he had won that round.

“Enough of this. Come on get up. I have lots to tell you.”

They stood next to each other, Jensen sulking and Jared smug as he continued his tale…“So I guess from your, fuck knows, you don’t remember anything. Well, we came up with a new game where we blew up your glow in the dark condoms and placed them all around this room.” He waved his hand expansively indicating the impressive sight that it was. “Then, we had to break the condoms while running in the dark and being fired on by the other guy and…and this is the good bit, if we didn’t break a condom we had to take off a piece of clothing. Thing was, we kept drinking, so we kept missing, and in the end we broke all the condoms with our hands and staggered off to your bed butt naked.”

Jared had his arm firmly around Jensen’s shoulder by this stage more so to ensure that the man didn’t flee the scene than in friendship. Jensen on the other hand was rooted to the spot as the story unfolded. He went to speak but Jared held a hand up. 

“We had a deal remember?” 

With a roll of his eyes Jensen gave in and bit his lip just in case he was tempted to speak again.

“So where was I? That’s right, so we finished our game and went to the bedroom.” At that point Jared began to undress an unresisting Jensen, “and we were drunk.” He removed the man’s t-shirt and allowed himself a moment to run his hands over Jensen’s fine chest and arms, “and we crawled into your bed.” He quickly took off his own t-shirt before pulling Jensen to him for another toe curling kiss just to remind Jensen where this was going “and we were very, very naked.” He kicked off his thongs and unbuckled their jeans, just popping the top button and going no further, much to Jensen’s apparent frustration. “And now I think we should take this to the bedroom so I can finish my story in the place where it all really began. What do you think?”

Jensen grabbed his arm and all but dragged him to the bedroom. Once inside Jensen wasted no time in stripping Jared back to his bare essentials.

_So much for taking it slow._

When Jared was naked, Jensen stripped his own jeans off, stroked himself to full hardness and arched at eyebrow at Jared in invitation.

_Okay I get the hint._

Hint or no hint Jared stood where he was. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed slightly.

Jensen threw his arms out in a _take me I’m yours_ invitation.

“Ah, Jen I’ve never done this before,” Jared admitted.

Jensen smiled at Jared and shrugged.

“You’re a real help. Dude I’m serious I really have no idea how to get this part,” Jared fisted his cock, “into your...you know part.” He pointed in the general direction of Jensen’s ass. “I mean I know I don’t just shove it in there,” Jensen paled at the comment. “So I guess some stretching is in order. Bend over.”

Jensen eyebrows shot up but instead of bending over as Jared so sweetly put it, he sashayed over to Jared like sex on two legs and pulled his head down for a sensual kiss. The only problem with acting like you know what you doing is that you really should know what you’re doing and so as they went to kiss but they ended up bumping noses. “Oof!” Jared cried. “Shit we managed alright before. Try again.” But try as they might they kept bumping noses, so in the end Jared announced, “You go left, I’ll go right and we’ll take it from there.” Kissing 101 was underway and they managed just fine in the end. 

It seemed now that they were naked, a certain amount of awkwardness had developed between them and awkwardness meant a lot of trial and error, which Jared hadn’t counted on when he told Jensen he couldn’t speak. So he was left to direct, and lead, and control, which in hindsight is probably what Jensen craved all along. 

_As I keep saying nothing is simple with this guy._

So here they were naked, aroused and desperately needing to fuck and Jared was still running _how to_ scenarios through his head so he could actually progress to the _fucking Jensen blind_ part. 

“So we gonna do this?”

Jensen eagerly nodded his agreement. 

“Okay, so on the bed and open your legs, I just want to get a look at where I have to go.” 

Jensen looked appalled as Jared slithered down his prone body to inspect his ass. Jared certainly wasn’t expecting to be slapped on the upside of his head for his efforts. “Quit hitting me man and what was that for anyway?”

_Oh! My bad!_

Jensen was embarrassed if the deep crimson blush that was spreading over his body was any indication.

“Come on dude. I just want to get the lay of land so to speak. Now open up. Not like I get to look at ass holes very often if you discount the ones we meet through our jobs.”

Jensen threw his forearm across his eyes, but opened his legs for the ass inspection. 

“Wow it’s tiny,” Jared muttered as he fingered the hole tentatively. “You sure it’ll stretch. I mean you’ve seen me man, I’m huge. I don’t want you to snap me in half or anything because you’re hole’s too small.”

Jensen groaned and reached into the bedside table draw where he blindly rummaged around finding lube and condoms which he tossed in Jared’s direction.

“Fine I get the hint.” Jared picked up the lube and giggled. “Cool you bought an industrial size bottle of lube.” Jared examined the biggest bottle of lube he had ever seen and looked at Jensen. “Either you think I’m enormous or you were planning for a very busy night. Either way I feel very proud right now. You think I’m big and have staying power. Jared is the man!” He thrust his hips provocatively and Jensen grabbed a pillow to hide his face and embarrassment.

“Come on Jen you’re a man too. If you weren’t I would have fucked you by now. The fact that you have the same bits as me is the reason that we are a little slower on the uptake, but hey the finish will be worth it.” 

A muffled moan escaped the pillow.

“Lose the pillow man I want to see you your face,” Jared ordered and Jensen slowly pushed it aside and looked at Jared. He seemed vulnerable and exposed and Jared just loved that look on Jensen.

He poured a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and began painting Jensen’s ass, all the while keeping up a constant prattle about what he was doing. 

“Damn this is so hot,” he murmured as his fingers rubbed over a tiny bump inside Jensen. 

Jensen groaned loudly, his eyes wild and his hands grabbed Jared’s arms. He was panting heavily and Jared wasn’t sure if it was with pain or pleasure, so he did it again to see what happened and Jensen groaned once more.

_And that would be pleasure. I found your g-spot. Time to bring you down baby!!_

By the time he had three fingers in Jensen, his friend was writhing and moaning uncontrollably. Jared guessed the time was right to move to the next stage…the fucking.

“Jen you ready for me?” There it was the deer in the headlights look, and Jared worried that maybe Jensen wasn’t ready after all. He inspected Jensen’s ass and figured that a bus could drive through it since it was so wide now. So he wasn’t sure what the problem was. He tried again to get a response, “Jen you sure you want me to do this?”

_Cause I really want to do this. I’m gonna explode if we don’t do this._

Jensen stared at him pupils blown wide and body trembling.

When Jensen didn’t acknowledge his words, Jared became worried, “Hey man we don’t have to do this…”

But Jensen grabbed a condom, tore it open with his teeth, rolled it down Jared’s ample length and lay back holding his legs up and apart.

“Okay so I guess we’re good to go, but before I do there’s something I need you to know.” 

Jensen looked aghast that Jared would interrupt their love making with idle conversation but nonetheless he listened if it meant they got to the good part sooner.

“I know I said no talking, but if it gets too much for you, you shout STOP and I will. You understand?”

Jensen gave him the thumbs up and so Jared got down to business.

Jared positioned himself at Jensen’s entrance and pushed forward. “I’m going in!” Jared announced as breached the rim. “Oh god,” he moaned as he stilled to ensure Jensen was okay with everything. He could see the sweat beaded on Jensen’s skin and tension in his body as Jensen tried to work through the pain to the pleasure.

Jared pulled back slightly and pushed in again, a little further this time.

Jensen clenched and unclenched his fists and kept his eyes tightly shut and mouth open as he panted shallowly.

“You doin’ okay Jen? Does it hurt?”

Jensen shook his head.

“Liar! Is it too much for you?”

Jensen shook his head again. 

Jared knew Jensen would have told him to stop; then again Jensen had wanted this for a long while so he probably wouldn’t stop it if he thought he could get through the pain. 

Jared thrust a little deeper and Jensen gasped at the intrusion.

“Jensen? Open your eyes and look at me,” Jared told the man. When Jensen complied Jared asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

_Please don’t make me stop, please don’t make me stop._

Jensen responded by tucking his legs behind Jared’s thighs and pushing the man in deeper. Jared shouted in surprise and Jensen moaned. _Move_ he mouthed to Jared and Jared agreed, moving was what they both needed right now.

Jared set up a steady rhythm and each time he hit that little bump inside, Jensen bucked in pleasure. Jared could see Jensen wouldn’t last long, so he took hold of Jensen’s cock stroking it in time with his thrusts. Obviously that was a good thing because Jensen was now arching up to meet Jared.

“So Jen I had better finish my explanation.”

Jensen appreciated that Jared wanted to finish his story but it seemed a moot point considering they were both about to come.

“So about being in bed together…we slept next to each other but we _did not, sleep_ together. I did not get fucked and you did not fuck me.” He stilled inside Jensen and gripped the base of Jensen’s cock tightly to stem any chance of the man coming. “But you already knew that didn’t you?”

Jensen’s eyes flew open in horror.

“You can speak now,” Jared said through gritted teeth, the feeling of his cock surrounded by all that moist heat almost too much to bear.

When Jensen didn’t answer he continued, “You knew all along. You risked everything, our jobs, our friendship, so you could win a stupid joke?

Jensen had tears in his eyes as he tried to make his response coherent considering their somewhat unusual situation. “No,” he finally replied, voice gravelly and uncertain. “I risked everything for you.”

“For me?” Jared repeated.

“I think I love you.”

Jared tilted his head wondering if that old David Cassidy song I think I love you would start to play magically. It didn’t. So he shook his head and went back to the matter at hand…literally.

“Oh,” Jared answered shocked by the frank admission.

“Not to break up a tender moment but for fuck’s sake Jared can I come now….please?” One very pent up co-star begged.

Jared smiled broadly, pulled Jensen forward onto his thighs, wrapped an arm around his waist and stroked his length firmly with his other hand, as he thrust up and Jensen bore down on him. They came with a hoarse shout; Jensen’s cum covering them both and Jared held his lover tight as Jensen who, as usual, came and went for a second time that day. 

_And I say it again I am the man!_

Jared gently lowered his lover to the bed and eased out of him and once more cleaned them both up. Tossing the face cloth aside he climbed into bed and pulled his still out of it lover into his arms. 

“Come on Jen wake up.” Jared tapped Jensen’s face to try and rouse him. 

Finally Jensen opened his dazed eyes. “Jay?” He croaked.

“I’ve got you.”

“’Kay.”

“It scares me to death you know,” Jared really wasn’t concerned whether Jensen was listening or not.

“What?” Jensen tried to focus. In fact he began to look decidedly worried.

“When you pass out like that. You gonna do that every time you come? Because man I gotta say it’s freaky.”

“It’s you…your fault,” Jensen tried to explain. “Wanted you and then I had you and it’s too much. I just overload.”

“Yeah about you wanting me.”

Jensen tried to push away from Jared but the man would have none of it. “Stay still. I like this part. Cuddling is good. So you gonna tell me when you knew it was a joke?” Jared asked as he snuggled Jensen closer to him.

“When I came home after seeing you yesterday. Started cleaning up the mess here and well, things just fitted into place.”

“So you decided to turn things around on me huh?”

“I like to win, but really I had been trying to think of a way to tell you what I wanted, how I felt and you played right into my hands with your joke so I just went with it. Figured that since you seemed happy to pretend we had fucked and you didn’t slap me silly when we kissed, then maybe deep down you really wanted me just like I wanted you.”

“So does this make us gay? 

“I think we’re bi.”

“So we’re bi then,” Jared seemed to be trying the title on. “Bi. I like that. You know you’re my first non booby experience. I don’t look at other boys I just like you and your boy bits.”

“I am rather fond of your bits as well.”

“So what was all that crap when we were filming? Hell of a risk don’t you think?”

“Wasn’t meant to happen, but after I passed out in the trailer and then came to, I was out of it and I couldn’t think straight. That was _so_ your fault Padalecki.”

“Okay I accept that one, but you pushed it. All those kisses and touches. I would’ve had to have been a saint to ignore all that stuff.”

Jensen giggled. 

“And what about the fight with Sandy? I thought you liked her?”

Jensen blushed, “I was jealous.”

“Of Sandy?”

“Yes and mad at you.”

“What did I do?”

“You let me think you had dumped her and when she turned up and you hadn’t told me she was in town, well I thought you were cheating on me, even though we hadn’t really done anything except the trailer stuff. Look, I was still a little fuzzy okay and when she started getting down and dirty I decided I would fight for you. I was so close, or so I thought, to having you as mine that I just went for what I wanted and that was you.”

“Wow.” Jared was stunned. “She left me. Said you were too much competition for any woman. She said we are made for each other. She might be right, we sort of fit together.”

“We do, don’t we? So when did you work it out?”

“What that you were playing me?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t pick it up straight away, but later after Sandy left I thought about everything and I remembered when we were filming you said “But _he’s_ not drunk.” Jared grinned.

“Oh.”

“I realized that you were saying that what had happened earlier wasn’t because either of us were drunk; that I jerked you off because I wanted you and not because of some drunken fumbling.”

“I’m sorry I played the joke on you,” Jared felt he owed Jensen an apology.

“And I’m sorry I turned it back on you,” although he really wasn’t considering the final outcome. Jensen nestled into Jared, “So what now?” 

“Well I see a prosperous future ahead, much fucking and loving and fun.”

“No more jokes on each other?”

Jared laughed, “I think we can call this one a draw and from now on; it’s us against them.”

“Works for me.”

Jared kissed the top of Jensen’s head. “This is just the beginning. Wait to we get back to the set. 

“Hey Jared you didn’t get rid of those potato guns did you?” Jensen waggled his eyebrows.

************************************************

Epilogue

 

“Honey come look it’s that episode of _Supernatural_ that they we rehearsing when I was at the set. 

“Which one George?”

“ _Tall Tales._ Wonder if they kept that scene in.”

His wife handed him his favorite dessert as the opening credits rolled.

“It was a scream. Those people are riot.’ He took a spoon full of his dessert, “I love this Fantasy Pie by the way.”

 

The End


	2. “Never assume, seldom deny, always distinguish.” (Anonymous)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overall story information with [**Part 1**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26389.html#cutid1)

  
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#  Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (2/5) Jared/Jensen NC-17 

  
Banner by China Rose

 **Title:** Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (2/5)  
 **Author:** China Rose  
 **Pairings:** J2 (Jared/Jensen)  
 **Rating:** NC-17 (There be man sex in here)  
 **Type:** RPS  
 **Status:** This story is **complete** and is posted in **5** parts

 **Notes:** Overall story information with [**Part 1**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26389.html#cutid1)

 **A/N:** For those who don’t know “a grower not a shower” is urban slang and means a guy might seem to have a small cock when flaccid but it grows to a very respectable size when erect.

 **Word Count:** 3024

Part 2  
 **“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” (Henry Winkler)**

The thing about declaring war is that both sides need to know they are actually at war. So if there was ever a mistake made in this cluster fuck it was when Jared decided to play a joke on Jensen and Jensen had no idea that he had even been the butt of a joke in the first place.

When Jared stormed out of Jensen’s home not telling him what had actually happened, the scene was set for a cascade of events that could only lead to disaster. Jensen had been left to wonder how he could have so royally fucked things up, by one, sleeping with his best friend and two, by throwing said best friend out the door the next day without so much as an “I’ll call you.” Jared felt like a jilted lover and declared to make Jensen pay for screwing him when he hadn’t even been screwed in the biblical sense of the word; and Jensen resolved to make it up to Jared for fucking him blind and then cutting him loose, even though he didn’t remember the fucking and couldn’t forget the cutting loose.

While Jared stayed at home and plotted Jensen’s demise, Jensen spent the rest of Saturday sitting in the wreckage of his apartment and tried to work out just what had happened and how he could make everything right again. Of course he still had no idea that he had been the victim of a boyish prank since the memories of Friday night disappeared around the fifth tequila and fourth Playstation challenge. Jensen could only assume that somewhere in their drunken games they had progressed from _I’m gonna beat your ass_ to _I’m gonna fuck your ass._

Despite the fact that this had never happened before, Jensen knew that there was a first time for everything and this had been theirs and what a first time it must have been. Jensen reasoned that since his ass wasn’t sore, then Jared surprisingly must have been the recipient of their bedroom activities. Surprising because Jensen always imagined that he would be the bottom, he wanted to be dominated, he wanted Jared to control him, to fill him, to…not that he gave it too much thought of course because, hello, straight man but you know how it is, a man could occasionally look, and enjoy, and dream. Well that was his story and he was sticking to it. Anyway you would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice how easy on the eyes Jared was and now Jensen had so much more to feed his waking and wanking moments since he had seen Jared in the _flesh._

Truth be told, despite not knowing _exactly_ what had occurred the night before, Jensen was still somewhat proud of his sexual stamina, considering how many condom wrappers he had seen on his bedside table and of course he had more tangible reminders of their night together; he had bruises. Jared had left finger marks on his wrists and arms obviously at the height of his passion. Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the thought and then sighed, because he couldn’t remember any of it.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and briefly wondered why he wasn’t plucking his pubes out over all of this?

And then it hit him.

_I slept with Jared. Oh god, I slept with my best friend. Jesus Mary and Joseph, I slept with a man! Oh my god I’m gay. I am so going to hell if my mother or Kripke find out._

Okay so maybe his subconscious was just catching up to his reality.

Then Jensen had an epiphany…no wonder Jared was so upset when he left yesterday, he had realized a lot faster than Jensen had, that he had slept with a man and what’s more, Jared had come to the startling realization that he had just cheated on his girlfriend. He had cheated on sweet little Sandy.

Jensen hung his head in shame; he was a bad person to have caused this to happen. He had corrupted his friend, stolen his virginity and then hung him out to dry. Of course, the fact that Jensen usually swept his one night stands out the door faster than their feet could carry them didn’t occur to him. Nor did the fact that if Jensen had done Jared, then Jensen must have lost his gay virginity too, even if Jared hadn’t…you know…maybe because he was hung like a horse!

No Jensen’s concern was firmly fixed on Jared and how lost his friend must feel, sitting alone in his apartment probably shaken to the core that he had been used and abused by someone who he trusted with his life.

Jensen leapt to his feet and announced to his empty, except for the accumulating dust bunnies - but he didn’t think they actually counted, apartment _“I’m a bad person! I should come with danger signs that say, I corrupt. I should be encircled in salt so that I can’t escape and hurt anyone anymore. This is my punishment for all my fantasies. One night of drunken fun and then debauchery reigns supreme and what’s more, it was good! Well I think it was good. Of course it was good. It was with Jared!”_

He knew what he had to do. He had to tell Jared that he really did care, that Jared wasn’t like all his other “thanks for coming” lovers. He had to make Jared believe it.

Jensen was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure Jared wasn’t tainted by this whole experience and he knew to his very core that God and Kripke (who Jensen actually thought was maybe the same person) would punish him for this if he didn’t fix it; then again, he would probably punish him anyway because he had done it in the first place. Either way, he had to make it right or his friendship with Jared would be over and then that would put _Supernatural_ at risk and the show would fold and he would be blacklisted and …

By Saturday night Jensen had worked himself into a full blown panic attack over the whole thing and had gone from “I’ll never drink again because it causes way too many problems” to “I will never work again because I popped Jared’s cherry and now the studio execs think that Dean is doing Sam. It’s over and it’s my fault and hundreds of people are unemployed because my one-eyed trouser snake had tunnel vision.”

By Sunday morning Jensen was beside himself with worry and guilt, especially since he hadn’t heard from Jared after he had so callously thrown his friend out the door. He also realized that he really didn’t know where he stood with his friend, co-star, lover (Jensen vibrated slightly with what could only be described as unbridled lust). In the end he was in a frenzy over the whole situation and decided to go to Jared’s apartment to clear the air.

When his friend opened the door Jensen blurted out, “I’m a bad person. God will punish me and I am going to die in hell for making you cheat on Sandy.” He threw himself into Jared’s arms seeking mercy and forgiveness.

Unsure of what to do with an armful of gibbering Jensen, Jared reverted to the standard “there, there,” pat on the back as Jensen ploughed on.

“Did you tell her about us? Is she mad at you? Hell, is she mad at me? What did she say when you dumped her? You dumped her right, because I know you’re not a bad person and you wouldn’t intentionally cheat on your girlfriend?”

It was at that point that Mrs Chiloski opened her door to see what all the noise was. Jared just patted Jensen’s back and mouthed to his neighbor, “Girlfriend trouble.” “Oh” she mouthed back and closed her door quietly.

“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it good for you, I promise.” Jensen inhaled Jared’s scent as he entwined his fingers in Jared’s hair. “You can do me next time. _Really_ I want you to do me even if you look big. God you look so big.”

Mr Martin happened to walked down the hall on his way to his apartment and gasped at the scene before him. Jared waved him on. “Girl problems,” he mouthed and tried to indicate with his hand that his distraught friend was grieving and not certifiably insane. Mr Martin nodded. He’d been there and done that, “Good luck” he mouthed back.

“Do you forgive me? Please forgive me. I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t. Dude, I am so not gay, but now that we…we did it, I’m gay for you and you alone. Take me, use me, love me, I’m yours but I don’t want to rush you. I just need you to know that it’s my fault that this happened and while you might feel that your life is falling apart I will catch you. I won’t let you fall.”

Strains of _“The Wind Beneath my Wings”_ floated out from Mrs Chiloski’s apartment and Jared couldn’t help but wonder what deity he had ticked off to be punished because he had played such a childish trick on his best friend.

Jensen prattled on, “I will be there for you because I lo…I lo…because I really like you and your cock is enormous. So you’re a shower right? You know we really must measure that thing, because I’ve never seen anyone that big, not that I would really know of course. Hey don’t think I sleep around or anything because you’re my first. Anyway I’m a grower, not a shower, but you probably already know that, but oh my fucking god, you, lover, have one very impressive cock,” he moaned as memories he didn’t actually have assaulted him.

The Graham family chose that moment to exit their apartment on their way to church and Jared tried hard to ignore their blatant stares, as Mr Graham quickly ushered their two children into the elevator. Jared was mortified as Mrs Graham winked at him and blew him a kiss and the last thing he heard before the elevator doors closed was Mrs Graham saying, “What Malcolm? All I’m saying is anyone that tall with those massive feet well it just makes sense if you know what I mean.”

Jared was screwed by Jensen yet again and not a bodily fluid had passed between them. This was so typical of Jensen. He said the first thing that came to mind, irregardless of where he was or who he was with, and then wallowed in guilt when he thought he made a mistake. Only problem was, his guilt made him loopy which meant the guy just wreaked havoc wherever he went until he sorted everything out in his head. Consequently Jared had an overpowering urge to shake some sense into Jensen before things really got out of hand; but the feelings that Jensen stirred in Jared as he writhed against him warred with his better judgment, so he stayed put and let Jensen have his moment of madness.

“Ignore them my lover, let them think what they want. We are, who we are and we are destined to be together,” Jensen waffled on. “I won’t desert you.”

He promptly pulled Jared’s head down and kissed him soundly.

Jared wasn’t sure what to do with his hands and less certain what to do with Jensen, so he went with the flow and kissed his friend back. Hell he was only human and besides Jensen had the most perfect lips. They were everything he had ever imagined and more.

_God the man can kiss! God I just kissed a man! God I want to kiss that man again!_

They broke apart and Jensen cupped Jared’s chin lovingly, “Better than the first time.”

Enough was enough. Jared knew he had to end this and went to tell Jensen that it was all a joke, but Jensen placed his finger tips on Jared’s lips, “Shh no words,” he whispered as _And They Called It Puppy Love_ echoed down the hall.

The fact that Jensen had no memory of kissing Jared seemed entirely beside the point at that moment to Jensen at least. “I want to stay but it’s probably best that I leave you to think about it all. Just know that I’m sorry and when you’re ready I will be waiting, and don’t worry I bought more condoms and lube because with what you’re packing we’re gonna need it.”

Mr Graham returned to his apartment just as those very words passed Jensen’s thoroughly kissed lips. “I forgot my Bible,” Mr Graham muttered as he rushed past the men. As he exited his apartment once more, he stopped and glared at Jared. “You know it’s a sin? God punishes sinners!”

Jared looked to the ceiling seeking divine intervention, took a steadying breath when none came and tried to explain, “Look it’s not what you think…”

Jensen of course, true to form, remained plastered to Jared nuzzling his neck. He seemed totally oblivious to what was happening. He was so high on life that Jared feared he might float away so he wrapped his arms more firmly around his one-can-short-of-a-six-pack friend to ground him and protect him in case Mr Bible Basher burst his bubble.

“You can lie to me, but God knows the truth. You have made your bed and now you must lie in it,” Mr Graham was working up to full evangelist mode as his voice rose to fever pitch and he waved his Bible on high.

“I’ve laid in it; it’s enormous,” Jensen matter-of-factly informed the distressed neighbor.

“Shut up Jen,” Jared groaned.

“Repent! Repent before your maker!” Mr Graham shouted as he scurried to the elevator.

“I didn’t know he knew Kripke?” Jensen commented as he watched Jared’s neighbor disappear form view.

Jared sighed heavily, rolled his eyes and thought, _kill me, kill me now._

“So I have to love you and leave you yet again,” Jensen whispered as he placed his hand on Jared’s heart. “See you on the set tomorrow,” and with those parting words he fled down the hall and Jared was left to consider what kind of monster he had created. In fact, Jared just stood there watching where Hurricane Jensen had been and he was sure that papers swirled into the air as Jensen flew by. The man just had this knack of making the simple so impossibly complicated sometimes. Being around Jensen was like trying to stay stationary when a category five hurricane blew in from the Gulf. It just bowled you over and so did Jensen; except the guy didn’t know what power he wielded sometimes.

Part of Jared was stunned that Jensen still believed that they had slept together, while the other half of him couldn’t believe his friend was so frigging gullible. The man was a brilliant actor, seemed incredibly intelligent; practiced his faith and all around appeared well grounded and untouched by Hollywood and yet every so often Jensen exhibited the other side of his nature; the one where he fucked anything with a heart beat and a zip code and was as stupid as a whore at a church picnic. The guy could be a real fruit loop at times and Jared sighed guessing that this was one of those times.

Of course the other nagging doubt he had was that maybe Jensen actually did remember everything and was now playing Jared for the fool. Maybe, just maybe this was payback.

 _Well two could play that game Jenny boy._ he thought as he fingers touched his still tingling lips. _God the guy could kiss!_

He closed the door and began to plot revenge and wondered just how far Jensen would let this go before he caved in. He was startled from his musings by a voice from the bedroom. “Jared honey who was at the door?”

Sandy, bless her little cotton socks, had come for a visit and would be there for a week. Jared had only found out on Friday that she was coming the next day and hadn’t bothered to tell Jensen, because his friend needed his undivided attention the other night. Besides Jensen loved Sandy and would have been thrilled to know she was in town and Jared had fully intended to tell Jensen about her after they had stopped laughing about the joke.

“Oh just a lunatic from the funny farm hon wondering where his padded cell had gone,” Jared muttered as he wandered to the kitchen to get a drink.

“What did you say baby?”

“I said it was Major Disaster. He had his wires crossed and needed to find his way home,” he explained, his head half stuck in the refrigerator looking for something to take the taste of Jensen from his mouth; not that he didn’t savor the taste, he just didn’t want Sandy to enjoy it as well. Jensen was his after all...sort of, for the purposes of the joke at least he assured himself.

“You’re so sweet to help him,” she called back.

“You have no idea.”

He leant against the bench and took a swig of beer.

_Well if Jen seriously doesn’t remember what happened then the week ahead is gonna be really interesting in more ways than one._

As he wandered back to Sandy he decided that regardless of whether Jensen remembered or didn’t remember, revenge was sweet, payback’s a bitch and he couldn’t wait to see Jensen squirm…preferably against him when the truth and hopefully some body parts came out.

 

[Part 3](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html)

**Tags:** [humor](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/humor), [jared/jensen](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/jared%2Fjensen), [rps](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/rps), [supernatural](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/supernatural)

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[{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/105257166/7171708","uname":"ymmy12","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":733,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://ymmy12.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"ymmy12","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://ymmy12.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"ymmy12"}],"thread":187756,"level":1,"dname":"ymmy12","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=187756&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=187756&format=light#t187756","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=187756&format=light#t187756","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=187756&format=light#t187756","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":187756,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"ymmy12: lightnening","article":"yeah<br />where's 3 and 4<br />i love a loopy jensen--too cute and funny<br />shame on jared","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 10 2007, 05:17:38 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186723058","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":734,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":187756,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":188012,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=188012&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188012&format=light#t188012","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188012&format=light#t188012","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188012&format=light#t188012","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":188012,"etime_ts":null,"above":187756,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Jen is a bit befuddled poor dear and Jared is having the time of his life sort of LOL. The boys are certainly getting themselves into unfamiliar territory but neither seems too upset by how things are changing.<br /><br />Parts 3 and 4 are coming, they are with the beta and all being well the whole thing will be out by Sunday or Monday.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 10 2007, 08:26:39 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186734399","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/110870491/13050637","uname":"kuhekabir","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":735,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"kuhekabir","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"kuhekabir"}],"thread":188268,"level":1,"dname":"kuhekabir","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=188268&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188268&format=light#t188268","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188268&format=light#t188268","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188268&format=light#t188268","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":188268,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"kuhekabir: colin icon 1","article":"Those were two great chapters...but Sam is being a little evil. I hope he will feel sorry for playing this trick on Jensen at some point. I read that parts 3 and 4 should be out soon. I hope so because this is really good and I cannot wait to read more. Thank you.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 11 2007, 23:26:55 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186874815","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":736,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":188268,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":188524,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=188524&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188524&format=light#t188524","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188524&format=light#t188524","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=188524&format=light#t188524","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":188524,"etime_ts":null,"above":188268,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Jared is being a little cheeky isn't he and Jensen is so clueless. I just love them both to death though LOL. The other parts are with the beta and he said I should get Pt 3 back today so it will be out later in the day I hope. Thanks for reading and I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying the story. *g*","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 12 2007, 00:17:27 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186877847","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/96887463/12341280","uname":"ysbail","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":752,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://ysbail.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"ysbail","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://ysbail.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"ysbail"}],"thread":192620,"level":1,"dname":"ysbail","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=192620&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=192620&format=light#t192620","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=192620&format=light#t192620","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=192620&format=light#t192620","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":192620,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"ysbail: MY BOYS","article":"Hmmm ... I think Jared is going to get so much more than he bargained for ... but then that's just what he deserves ...","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 12:22:47 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187266967","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":758,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":192620,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":194156,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=194156&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=194156&format=light#t194156","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=194156&format=light#t194156","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=194156&format=light#t194156","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":194156,"etime_ts":null,"above":192620,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"LOL yeah I don't think Jared thought this through and some things just have a way of coming back to bite you on the arse. Thanks for reading hon.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 21:32:28 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187299948","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/102655851/16261750","uname":"blualbino","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2090,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://blualbino.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"blualbino","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://blualbino.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"blualbino"}],"thread":535148,"level":1,"dname":"blualbino","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=535148&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=535148&format=light#t535148","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=535148&format=light#t535148","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=535148&format=light#t535148","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":535148,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"the infraggable crunk: make them good girls go bad","article":"I just died laughing, seriously I LOVE confuzzled Jensen!","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"November 4 2008, 03:02:54 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1225767774","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2093,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":535148,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":535916,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=535916&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=535916&format=light#t535916","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=535916&format=light#t535916","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=535916&format=light#t535916","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":535916,"etime_ts":null,"above":535148,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Hi *waves* <br /><br />I'm happy to know you loved this. A good laugh is food for the soul.","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"November 9 2008, 12:11:26 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1226232686","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114847349/20961140","uname":"jensen_fanboy89","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2547,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"jensen_fanboy89","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"jensen_fanboy89"}],"thread":652140,"level":1,"dname":"jensen_fanboy89","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=652140&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=652140&format=light#t652140","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=652140&format=light#t652140","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=652140&format=light#t652140","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":652140,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"SchættenDpg: Tomb Raider","article":"Taking quotes here: 1): \"He shook his head to clear his thoughts and briefly wondered why he wasn&rsquot plucking his pubes out over all of this?<br /><br />And then it hit him.<br /><br />I slept with Jared. Oh god, I slept with my best friend. Jesus Mary and Joseph, I slept with a man! Oh my god I&rsquom gay. I am so going to hell if my mother or Kripke find out.\"<br /><br />2): \"Jared wasn&rsquot sure what to do with his hands and less certain what to do with Jensen, so he went with the flow and kissed his friend back. Hell he was only human and besides Jensen had the most perfect lips. They were everything he had ever imagined and more. <br /><br />God the man can kiss! God I just kissed a man! God I want to kiss that man again!\"<br /><br />I seriously don't think that 'humor' could be the accurate word for this work of yours, it should be something bigger, you know? Hilarious but you're still making it sound like more than funny, maybe, sexy? I don't know.<br /><br />What I do know is, I'm gonna keep reading, because this story is killing me, seriously, couldn't stop shouting my laughter. My family should think that I'm some sort of freak by now.<br /><br />I haven't laughed like this in a looooong time while I was reading, so, thanks for the good time.","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 10 2009, 02:05:11 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1249869911","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2553,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":652140,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":653676,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?replyto=653676&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=653676&format=light#t653676","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=653676&format=light#t653676","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html?thread=653676&format=light#t653676","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":653676,"etime_ts":null,"above":652140,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"So you really enjoyed the chapter. Fantastic! Laughing is good for the soul they say *gg*","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2009, 00:07:20 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1250467640","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0}]

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	3. Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (3/5)

  
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#  Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (3/5) Jared/Jensen NC-17 

  
Banner by China Rose

 **Title:** Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (3/5)  
 **Author:** China Rose  
 **Pairings:** J2 (Jared/Jensen)  
 **Rating:** NC-17 (There be man sex in here)  
 **Type:** RPS  
 **Status:** This story is **complete** and is posted in **5** parts  
 **Word Count:** 3248

**A/N 1:** Overall story information in Part 1  
 **A/N 2:** The interview referred to in this story is [ **here**](http://community.livejournal.com/completelyjared/61263.html)

 **Previous Parts:** [**Part 1**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26389.html#cutid1) [**Part 2**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html#cutid1)

*****************************************

Part 3

“The Way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions” (Don Miguel Ruiz)

 

Jared spent the rest of his Sunday deciding how to bring about Jensen’s downfall while still trying to be attentive to Sandy. *sigh* Sandy! He loved her visits, loved her bubbly nature and well just loved her, but sometimes he preferred death by toilet drowning rather than have to listen to her prattle about the unfairness of reality TV and her ongoing complaint about her ill fated and short lived tryout for the _Pussycat Dolls_. He loved her, he _really_ did, but her incessant drivel left him brain dead. Besides at this point in time he wanted his head full of all things Jensen rather than the mindless stuff she was babbling about. Yes indeed Jared had much bigger things on his mind.

Jenny, this is a last man standing situation and I’m gonna be the one to take you down.

Monday morning rocked around and here he was up at the crack of dawn waiting for his ride to the set and bouncing from foot to foot with anticipation about his plans to bring Jensen to his knees. Jared couldn’t have been happier because he could finally escape Sandy, who he was convinced could talk under wet cement and finally, he would get to see Jensen again. He had decided to go with the flow and see what moves Jensen made before escalating the joke, but escalation was definitely his intention and if he scored another kiss from those perfect Ackles lips in the process then he wouldn’t argue; after all Jared had to get something more out of all this other than a “hey fucker I won.”

The SUV pulled up out front and Jared bounded out to it. His co-star, as usual, was picked up first and when Jared climbed into the back next to Jensen he couldn’t help but feel that Jensen looked afraid and…no!...he couldn’t be!…submissive?!

“Hello Jay,” Jensen monotoned as if he expected to be hit or yelled at or jumped on or worse rejected.

Jared couldn’t resist stirring things up a little and in his most seductive voice asked, “Hey Jen, ya miss me?”

And that’s all it took. Jensen changed from submissive to dominant in the blink of an eye and Jared was mesmerized as Jensen quivered, moaned and all but flew into his lap. Jensen was all hands and legs as he ground himself against Jared who was flaying his arms in an impression of a drowning man in a riptide. The really funny thing was that Jared had thought he would be in control of the joke and yet once again Jensen got one up on him…literally. Jared just couldn’t work out how Jensen managed it but he wasn’t going to just lay there and take it; Jared fought back.

So here it was at “o” dark thirty on a Monday morning with two six foot something men wrestling for dominance on the back seat of an SUV that was hurtling through the icy streets of Vancouver with a driver who was getting decidedly distracted by all the commotion going on behind her.

“We okay? Yeah we’re Okay,” Jensen gasped as he sucked on Jared’s neck.

“Oh god,” Jared couldn’t tell if Jensen was acting or sincere but either way all Jared’s plans for the day evaporated as his blood supply headed south. The pressure of Jensen bearing down on his lap and the constant nipping and licking of his hyper-sensitive skin had Jared hard in heartbeat.

 _Traitor! You’re supposed to be on my side,_ he grumbled as little Jared made a big entrance.

“Jen! Jen!” he whispered breathlessly so as not to draw attention to their situation; but it was no good Jensen was hell bent on… _oh geez!!_ He forcefully tried to get Jensen to sit next to him but Jensen was currently in the process of pushing Jared’s t-shirt up while kissing his way down to parts that had no right to be awake.

“I thought you might’ve changed your mind,” Jensen murmured as his tongue lapped Jared’s nipples. “Tell me you want me. You do want me, don’t you Jay?” He sucked hard on a nub and then tenderly soothed it with his perfect lips and eager tongue.

Jared shoved a fist into his mouth to stifle the moan.

“Told you I’d make it good for you.”

When Jensen’s hands moved to undo Jared’s belt some of Jared’s will power reasserted itself, if for no other reason than he so didn’t want to have their first time with their driver looking on. The fact that he even considered a first time seemed to have slid right on passed him, but hey, Jared was a little preoccupied at the time. Anyway while Jared might never have entertained sex with a man before he’d have to be inhuman to not get turned on by what Jensen was doing as he writhed on him.

Jared desperately tried to still Jensen’s hands but the SUV lurched around a corner and he failed to find purchase and fell to the floor of the vehicle with Jensen on top of him. That seemed to inspire Jensen who took the opportunity to hump Jared’s leg with a fervor that would put Jared’s dog Harley to shame.

“Jay, Jay…” Jensen whimpered.

“Jen, Jen…” Jared pleaded.

“That’s enough!” The driver shouted. “What the hell is going on back there?”

And then there was quiet, if you ignored the heavy breathing, as they lay entwined with Jared’s arms firmly around Jensen and Jensen straddling Jared with his head nestled in the crook of his lover’s neck.

“Don’t make me stop this car and come back there. Now what are you moron twins up to?”

“Nothing!” They replied as innocently as they could, considering their current situation.

“Like hell,” replied the driver. “Now get back up on that seat. Sit apart and keep your hands to yourselves. You boys are rocking my ride and if you two don’t behave, stars or no stars, you will be walking to the set if you keep this nonsense up. You boys hear me?”

“Yes Ma’am,” they mumbled having been suitably rebuked.

Jensen sat still for all of about five seconds before he reached out to hold Jared’s hand. He almost made it until…

“What did I just say?” The voice bellowed from the dark.

He snatched his hand back and squashed into the far corner of the vehicle, just in case she changed her mind and decided to drop him off on some lonely crossroads.

Jared was equally concerned for his safety especially as he was sitting next to his over sexed co-star while being driven by one very pissed off driver. He idly wondered what he needed to sacrifice at midnight in order to escape the ride in one piece and win the joke, but right now neither situation seemed likely.

He stole a furtive glance at Jensen in the dim light and was stunned to see his friend fog up the window and with his finger draw a heart and write “Jen L Jay.”

_What the fuck?!_

To say that Jared was confused was an understatement. He still had no idea whether Jensen was just playing him, but he had a nagging suspicion that his “I’m too pretty to be a boy” friend was blissfully unaware that he was the victim of practical joke. No-one could be that stupid for so long, but then again Jensen did have these bizarre moments when he just didn’t know which way was up. Like the time they did that interview in London when they were three sheets to the wind and Jensen admitted that he had stolen sporting equipment as a teenager and that he liked to walk around his house naked. Yeah okay so Jared did mention that he liked to masturbate but Jensen started it. The point is, where alcohol is concerned some folks became happy drunks or sad drunks but Jensen becomes a no inhibitions drunk who lets his mouth go places it really had to no right to go. So if Jensen genuinely believed that he had fucked Jared at the height of a drunken stupor because Jared hinted that they had, then Jensen would believe him because Jensen knew his inner Jenny came out when he was drunk. Consequently Jared now had bigger worries on his hands other than how he intended to get one up on Jensen in the jokes tally.

The problem was though that no matter how much he wanted to believe he had truly tricked Jensen he still had this niggling doubt that he was in fact the one being pranked. Jensen was a consummate actor and if anyone could pull off a payback joke it was Jensen Ackles. For all Jared knew Jensen could be sitting here right now playing the lovesick fool while he was in fact planning his next move to prove he was the master trickster.

So Jared was none the wiser and decided the safest course of action was to continue with Plan A, that being take it to the limit and see what comes up, goes down or falls apart. Whatever happened it would be funny to see it all unfold or unravel depending on how things went, but if Jared had his way it would all go very well indeed.

If Jared thought that having a plan would ensure his victory then he hadn’t counted on his every footstep being dogged by a very doting lover. From the minute they exited the vehicle Jensen was all touchy feely, arms wrapped around Jared’s shoulders, massaging him, hugging him and even a kiss or two. Jared had laid down the law after that. He held Jensen at arms length, looked down into those impossible trusting eyes and emphatically stated that under no circumstances would they kiss in public…kissing was for the trailers and home. Jensen nodded that he understood and then promptly tried to drag Jared to his trailer. Of course the fact that Jared had just given Jensen permission to fool around with him in private seemed to escape Jared’s attention and certainly focused Jensen’s. So much for being straight boys!

Life seemed to take on a decidedly downhill and picking up speed run for Jared after that; it was like being the passenger in a car and seeing a truck coming straight for you. You just had you hang on and hope that you survived the impact.

In makeup when the girls noticed the numerous bruises which were still quite evident on Jensen’s arms all hell broke lose.

“Sweetie how did you get those?” One of the girls asked as she examined his wrists and arms.

Jensen beamed and proudly announced, “Jared did it.”

“Jensen!” Jared roared embarrassed by the implications of his friend’s remark.

“Jared !” The girls scolded as they glared at Jared like he had just kicked a puppy.

“What?” He tried for blasé and ended up sounding petulant.

“You shouldn’t be so rough with him and now we have to cover him up.”

Apparently Dean had to wear a t-shirt for most of the shoot that day and after much tut-tutting and “oh my gods” the girls agreed that it would be too difficult to try and cover the marks; a wardrobe change would be the simplest solution.

One of the girls raced to wardrobe to relay the problem and soon enough a very irate wardrobe mistress strutted into the makeup trailer.

“Learn to play nice,” she growled at Jared. “And try to keep the marks to places where the audience won’t see. Got it?”

“But I didn’t…”

“Don’t give me details and be a good boy in future.”

“Oh he was good boy this time,” Jensen happily informed her.

“Jensen!” Jared implored. Things were getting entirely out of hand.

“Jared!” the wardrobe lady scolded as she fussed about Jensen who smiled happily and let her do her thing, while the make up girls blushed and giggled as Jared tried to pretend he was invisible.

It was no better later on the set. The number of times that Jensen flubbed his lines because he was ogling Jared left Kripke grinding his teeth, Kim Manners tearing his hair out and the production crew ready to kill the pair of them slowly and painfully and no doubt creatively. This was certainly not how this joke was supposed to play out. Jared wished he had never started the whole thing because right now he just wanted to hide in a corner and hope it would all go away, but with Jensen merrily playing the gay boyfriend it seemed like sanity and harmony were as elusive as world peace.

“Take a break folks. Fifteen minutes,” Kripke announced to one and all as he stalked over to Jared. “This is your fault Padalecki.”

“My fault?” Jared whined as he watched Jensen idly scuff his boot in the dirt seemingly oblivious to the havoc he was wreaking around him. “What did I do wrong? He’s the one who keeps messing up.” Jared pouted as he tried and failed to stare Kripke down.

_Yeah way to go Jared; let Jensen think he fucked you and he turns into a sex starved, lovesick boyfriend and now everyone blames you. It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know he secretly wanted me?_

“Yes, this is your fault. I don’t know what you did and I don’t want to know. Just fix it and do it quickly.”

“Just fix it and do it quickly,” Jared mimicked under his breath as he grabbed Jensen by the shirt and hauled him back to his trailer.

As they headed to the trailer Jensen seemed to come alive, much to Jared’s surprise. Once inside Jared found himself plastered to the wall by a very amorous and tactile Jensen. Jared had told Jensen that the trailer was a kissing zone, so Jensen was making up for lost time. Mind you Jared wasn’t complaining, not really, because he’d been dreaming of those lips since their first kiss yesterday but he really didn’t have time for this now. As much as he would enjoy having Jensen’s tongue down his throat he needed to do some damage control quickly or Kripke would have his balls for dinner and Jensen’s cock for dessert.

He tried to push Jensen back, but Jensen countered every move with roaming hands and kisses that should come with a surgeon general’s health warning. Jared’s resolve weakened and before long he was giving as good as he got and…what the hell was Jensen doing?

Jared’s brain short circuited when Jensen undid his jeans and stroked his cock.

“Oh god!” Jared stuttered as a white heat coiled in his belly as those incredibly determined fingers engulfed him.

“It’s all right; he said we had fifteen minutes.”

“What?”

“Shhh. Let me.”

With a firm grip Jensen stroked Jared in a rhythm guaranteed to get him off but Jared wanted more. As much as he enjoyed what Jensen was doing to him, Jared had a whole morning of touches and caresses to work out of his system and he intended to work them out on Jensen. Through sheer force and animal lust he swung them around so that Jensen was now backed up against the wall and using his height to his full advantage, Jared pressed his body against Jensen’s and grabbed Jensen’s wrists in one hand holding them high above his head.

“This what you want Jen? You want me to control you?

“Yeesss.

“You want me Jen?”

“You! Want you.”

His other hand palmed Jensen through his jeans. “So hard.” Jared nipped along Jensen’s jaw.

“It’s better than I remembered,” Jensen grunted as his hips thrust forward. “More.”

“That was a whole sentence I mustn’t be doing it right.” Jared rumbled in Jensen’s ear. So he redoubled his efforts and before long Jensen seemed to melt in his arms and all Jared could hear between wet kisses and moans was Jensen begging for release.

Jared needed no further encouragement. With his free hand he shoved his own jeans down and breathed a sigh of relief as his cock sprung free.

“You want me to touch you Jen?”

“Jay…”

“You wanna come?”

“Please…plea…” his words choked off as Jared roughly shoved Jensen’s jeans down, rucked up his shirt and captured both their cocks in one in his hand.

“Feel good?” Jared asked as he stroked them mercilessly. “Yeah it feels great doesn’t it? You and me we needed this Jen. All those touches, those hands, those lips. Do you know what you do to me Jenny? Do you know the things I want to do to you?”

Jensen’s eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth hung open and with every stroke of Jared’s hand his hips thrust forward in anticipation and need.

“Not enough time to do everything I want,” He bit Jensen’s lower lip. “But this will have to do.”

“Please…” Jensen pleaded.

“Open your eyes. I want to watch you come. I want you to watch me come.”

Jared had never seen Jensen so wanton or so needy. Actually Jared had never seen Jensen hard and in the throes of passion before either, but that was beside the point. The man’s lips were swollen and glistened with spit and a drop of blood where he bit too hard, his breathing was erratic and his skin flushed and covered in a fine sheen of sweat and when Jensen opened his eyes, Jared saw what he guessed was mirrored in his own eyes…lust and desire. Yes this was a sight Jared wouldn’t forget in a hurry. Jensen just looked so damn fuckable.

Jared shoved his thigh between Jensen legs and smiled ferally as his co-star shrieked with surprise.

“Jay let me come,” he begged.

“Come together.”

“Yes!” He hissed.

“You with me Jen?”

Jensen threw his head back and begged, pleaded and cursed up a storm but just as he was about to come there was a knock at the door.

Jared’s hand flew from holding Jensen’s hands to covering Jensen’s mouth in a vain attempt to stifle the scream that threatened to tell not only who was at the trailer door but the entire set just what they were doing.

“Jared, Jensen?” The PA called. “You’re needed on the set.”

Jensen’s eyes went wide, half with fear that the woman had heard them and half with fear that Jared would stop.

Jared for his part was as close as Jensen was to spilling his load so there was no turning back now as he pumped their cocks faster.

“Jared, Jensen you hear me?”

Jared mustered what little mental strength he had left and squeaked, “We’re coming!”

And then it happened. As white hot strips of cum erupted from their cocks and coated Jared’s hand and their stomachs; Jared came, Jensen went…out cold.…

_Damn I’m good…Oh shit!!...Oh fuck Kripke’s gonna kill me._

 

[Part 4](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html)

**Tags:** [humor](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/humor), [jared/jensen](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/jared%2Fjensen), [rps](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/rps), [supernatural](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/supernatural)

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[{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/62836104/12034593","uname":"sea_yeah","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":737,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://sea-yeah.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"sea_yeah","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://sea-yeah.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"sea_yeah"}],"thread":188705,"level":1,"dname":"sea_yeah","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=188705&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=188705&format=light#t188705","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=188705&format=light#t188705","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=188705&format=light#t188705","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":188705,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"sea_yeah: Eyes","article":"*buah ha ha*<br /><br />*gigglesnort*<br /><br />Oh Jared - I don't know whether to feel sorry for him or give him a slap or something.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 12 2007, 07:45:30 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186904730","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":739,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":188705,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":189217,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=189217&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=189217&format=light#t189217","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=189217&format=light#t189217","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=189217&format=light#t189217","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":189217,"etime_ts":null,"above":188705,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Yep that's how I feel about Jared too. He brought this on himself silly goose but as was pointed out in part 2 I think, Jensen has the knack of making the simple so incredibly complicated so between the two of them disaster is but a heartbeat away. *giggle*","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 12 2007, 09:37:16 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186911436","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/110870491/13050637","uname":"kuhekabir","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":738,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"kuhekabir","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"kuhekabir"}],"thread":188961,"level":1,"dname":"kuhekabir","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=188961&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=188961&format=light#t188961","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=188961&format=light#t188961","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=188961&format=light#t188961","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":188961,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"kuhekabir: colin icon 1","article":"I still have not figured out if Jensen is really thinking that they did it that night or if he is really playing Jared too. I hope that Jensen is not playing him but hey, this stoyr is fun either way. Thank you.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 12 2007, 08:35:43 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186907743","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":740,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":188961,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":189473,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=189473&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=189473&format=light#t189473","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=189473&format=light#t189473","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=189473&format=light#t189473","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":189473,"etime_ts":null,"above":188961,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"...and I won't tell you whether Jensen knows or not because that would spoil the fun *bwhaaaaaaaaaaa*<br /><br />Happy to know that the story is giving you a laugh and thanks for reading. Part 4 is due out at the latest Tuesday. My beta had a busy day and hasn't quite finished it yet.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 12 2007, 09:41:32 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1186911692","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/96887463/12341280","uname":"ysbail","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":753,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://ysbail.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"ysbail","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://ysbail.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"ysbail"}],"thread":192801,"level":1,"dname":"ysbail","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=192801&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=192801&format=light#t192801","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=192801&format=light#t192801","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=192801&format=light#t192801","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":192801,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"ysbail: MY BOYS","article":"Bloody hell ... he came so hard he passed out ... *g*","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 12:34:40 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187267680","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":759,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":192801,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":194337,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=194337&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=194337&format=light#t194337","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=194337&format=light#t194337","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=194337&format=light#t194337","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":194337,"etime_ts":null,"above":192801,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"ROFL ah yep the classic came and went scenario. Jared should be proud *wink* ","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 21:38:01 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187300281","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114847349/20961140","uname":"jensen_fanboy89","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2548,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"jensen_fanboy89","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"jensen_fanboy89"}],"thread":652321,"level":1,"dname":"jensen_fanboy89","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=652321&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=652321&format=light#t652321","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=652321&format=light#t652321","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=652321&format=light#t652321","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":652321,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"SchættenDpg: Tomb Raider","article":"Another quote: \"Traitor! You&rsquore supposed to be on my side, he grumbled as little Jared made a big entrance.\" Yeah, that use to happen, so this is hilarious as hell, not that hell is supposed to be hilarious but, you know what I mean.<br /><br />I feel I gotta say something to let you know that this work is completely different to any other I've read. See, this is the first time I've seen a \"prank\" go this far, you know? And I'm seriously hoping that I wouldn't have to go through what Jared's going through right now.<br /><br />Though I'm not absolutely sure, but I bet that Jensen's just playing with him, but I'll find out in the next parts.<br /><br />I hope that the rest of your works are like this, because if they are? God, we have a lot of excelent stuff to laugh for a while.<br /><br />Excelent work. Keep on reading part four.","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 10 2009, 03:02:40 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1249873360","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2554,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":652321,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":653857,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?replyto=653857&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=653857&format=light#t653857","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=653857&format=light#t653857","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html?thread=653857&format=light#t653857","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":653857,"etime_ts":null,"above":652321,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"LOL Jared's prank did get out of hand didn't it. He certainly made life difficult for himself. The situation became bigger than he planned and as you can see things went from bad to worse for him. Poor Jared *giggle*","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2009, 00:43:00 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1250469780","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0}]

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	4. Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (4/5)

  
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#  Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (4/5) Jared/Jensen NC-17 

  
Banner by China Rose

 **Title:** Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (4/5)  
 **Author:** China Rose  
 **Pairings:** J2 (Jared/Jensen)  
 **Rating:** NC-17 (There be man sex in here)  
 **Type:** RPS  
 **Status:** This story is **complete** and is posted in **5** parts  
 **A/N 1:** Overall story information in Part 1  
 **Word Count:** 4520

 **A/N 1: The** **blue** lines are dialogue between Jensen and Sandy and are highlighted so that reader doesn’t get confused with other dialogue happening at the same time.  
 **A/N 2:** When this story was beta’d we realized that this chapter was too big so we have split it in two. The story is now in five parts not four. One more part to go and it is done.

 **Previous Parts:** [**Part 1**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26389.html#cutid1) [**Part 2**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html#cutid1) [ **Part 3**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html#cutid1)

Part 4

**"There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke." Herman Melville)**

 

_I just cheated on my girlfriend, had sex when my best friend and we have to get to the set before we end up dish pigs in some sleazy diner. I hate my life!_

Jared couldn’t believe what he/they had just done. They were both supposed to be straight! So how the hell did two het boys who weren’t drunk end up like this? Jared had no idea why his inner self chose today to go rainbow, but it did. Still he _wasn’t_ gay he was sure of it; he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake. Guys with girlfriends don’t do other guys…usually anyway. That’s just the way it is, or was, until he decided to play that stupid joke. Since then everything had gone wrong. Jensen was supposed to be dieing of embarrassment not passed out with passion and since when did Jensen get to be so damn hot and adorable and…

_I’m not gay!!_

In fact he was so not gay that he just jacked off his best friend and co-star while at work no less. Said friend was now in a sex induced coma plastered against him, while cooling cum glued them together, pants pooled at their feet, hair stuck out in all directions, makeup pretty much kissed away and yet they were supposed to be back on set like, NOW ready to fix up what they had fucked up earlier.

Jared had to admit though, that despite their current predicament he was pretty proud of himself. He had never had anyone pass out before, but then none of his other bed buddies had ever been that into it, or out it for that matter and Jensen was definitely out of it. In fact he had been a whack job since he woke up the other day. Jared wasn’t sure if it was because of the hangover or some other reason, but occasionally Jensen did seem to go weird. Those times were usually associated with him having had some major problem where he ended up worried sick, just like he’d been on Friday and now he was once again in the middle of a bizarre phase.

He vainly tried to rouse his unconscious lover but had no luck. Jensen was out for the count. Indeed all attempts to revive his sexed up, zoned out, clueless, shit for brains friend failed bitterly and since Jared couldn’t pull his pants up because he had an armful of blissful Jensen, he was forced to shuffle them both to the couch.

_Nothing is ever simple with this guy. Jen next time we do it in a bed, so when you pass out at least I won’t have to hold you up… What the fuck am I DOIN’??? NEXT TIME? What’s wrong with me? I just cheated on Sandy with my best friend, who thinks we already did it days ago. I am lying to the two people I care most about, but this situation, this right now, is all your fault Jensen._

The fact that Jared may have actually caused this snowball effect of cascading disasters seemed to have passed him by as he unceremoniously dropped Jensen half on half off the couch, admired the view for a microsecond, hoisted his pants and raced to the bathroom to clean up. With attire firmly back where it was supposed to be and a few deep breaths to center himself, Jared returned with a wet face cloth to clean up Jensen. He wiped away the last visual evidence of their little fling, rearranged Jensen’s clothes and slapped him gently about the face.

“Come on man. This isn’t funny. Wake up. Kripke wants us.”

“God? ‘m here.” Jensen mumbled as he slowly opened his lust clouded eyes, “Jay? Wha..?.” But other than licking his lips he just laid there. “What happened?”

“You do that often?”

“Huh?”

“Pass out when you come. Warn a guy next time. Scared the shit out of me.”

_Warn a guy? What’s wrong with me? This is so not gonna happen again._

Jensen blushed scarlet.

_Oh yeah when alcohol isn’t involved he remembers all right._

“Come on we need to get back to the set. You with me Jen?”

“Now?” Jensen started to undo his pants.

It was at that point that Jared should have been worried. What he failed to realize was that the light was on, but nobody was home. In fact Jensen was right at the stage where the globe was about to blow.

“Jen leave your clothes dude. I dressed ya already. Now get up.”

Getting up didn’t seem to be too big a problem but staying up was a real challenge.

“Steady there,” Jared pulled Jensen close because he really didn’t want to have to explain to Kripke how one of his stars broke their face when they nose dived the floor. “Okay. One foot in front of the other and off we go. Gonna go make lots of money being big actors. You remember we act dontcha Jen?”

“Yeah.” Although he didn’t sound terribly convinced of the fact.

“You remember your lines?” He shoved Jensen out of the trailer and all but dragged him to where they were filming. When Jensen didn’t answer Jared prompted “Jen? Your lines. You remember them? You know we’re doing that scene where Sam gets drunk and he asks Dean to kill him if he goes dark side.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t though.”

“I know, but Dean might have to.”

“But why would I kill you? I like you.”

Jared sighed, somehow the looming disaster that was to be their afternoon started to impinge on his consciousness. “I like you too but Jen the show, the words, it’s not real. We can talk about _us_ later but right now you have to be Dean and Dean does that kind of shit okay?”

“Okay.” Jensen stumbled slightly and his words were slurred. “I’d never hurt you.”

Jared felt like a jerk. This stupid joke is gonna hurt Jensen he just knew it. Of all the consequences that might have come out of it Jared had never considered that hurting Jensen would be one of them, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“Yeah I know man,” And it was the truth Jared knew that all too well.

As they walked onto the set Jared noticed Kripke, brow furrowed, lips puckered, just watching them like a lion ready to pounce on prey and Jared prayed, though somehow he doubted it possible, that they could get through the rest of the day with the minimum of fuss and savaging.

The makeup girls fussed around doing what they do best and neither Jared nor Jensen said a thing as the girls tsked, tsked at having to reapply so much makeup. The wardrobe lady commented that boys will be boys, but wanted to know how they got their clothes so wrinkled in only fifteen minutes. Neither man responded but then Jared doubted Jensen was actually mentally with it enough to say anything other than his name, which didn’t bode well for the scene they were about to film.

Kim Manners strolled to his chair. “Places everyone. Boys on your marks.” Jared had to poke Jensen to get him to move. “Now Jared, Sam is drunk because he thinks he has failed and Dean walks in to find his little brother wasted."

Jared nodded.

“He’s not little,” Jensen exclaimed.

Jared choked.

Kim laughed, “Fine smartass but he’s still Dean’s _younger_ brother, so Dean has to look surprised when he finds him drunk off his face.”

Jensen frowned.

Jared groaned. That truck that has been bearing down on him since this whole thing started is about to hit, he just knew it.

Kim called for quiet on the set, “Okay so let’s take it from Sam’s line _you’re bossy._ Action!”

Jared became Sam and drunkenly told Dean, “You’re bossy and short.” But instead of Dean asking Sam _Are you drunk?_ Jensen seemed to visibly crumble and replied brokenly, “But I thought you liked me?”

“Cut! Cut!” Manners yelled. “Lay off the jokes guys. We’ve wasted enough time already today.”

Jared nodded, laughed worriedly and ushered Jensen back to his mark.

“From the top. Take two. Action!”

“You’re bossy and short.”

“Not that short! You seemed to manage all right,” Was the indignant reply.

“Cut! Jensen your line is _Are you drunk?”_

“But _he’s_ not drunk.”

“I know that Jensen because Jared is acting. You remember what acting is don’t you?”

Jensen seemed to ponder the question and then nodded.

“So act already,” Kim ordered. “Marks. Take three. Action!”

“You’re bossy and short.”

Jensen just stood there his bottom lip wibbled and Jared could have sworn the guy was about to burst into tears.

“Cut! Dam it Jensen. This is not funny…”

“Kim could I talk to Jensen for a minute?” Jared tried to stem Kim’s tirade.

“Fine but make it quick and knock some sense into him if you have to.”

Jared hauled Jensen away from prying eyes. “Dude you have to focus or you’ll lose your job, we both will.” He patted Jensen’s cheek. “Come on Jen, snap out of it. It was just an orgasm.”

Jensen just stared at him blankly; so Jared tried another way to break through the post orgasmic haze. “Jen I don’t think you’re short or bossy. You’re perfect for me.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely,” and Jared was sincere, Jen was perfect. If he was gay, which he so totally wasn’t, but if he was then Jensen would be his ideal lover. After all, the man was drop dead gorgeous, had incredible lips, amazing eyes and a very impressive cock. All that bullshit about being a grower not a shower; Jensen showed plenty and then some earlier but as Jared reminded himself…HE WASN’T GAY SO THAT STUFF DIDN’T MATTER but Jen didn’t need to know that right now.

“Jen you do know that Sam is supposed to be drunk right?”

“Not you!”

“No not me.”

“And you know that I like you or we wouldn’t have…” he waved his arm around trying to find the words “…wouldn’t have fooled around.”

“I liked it.”

“Yeah so did I, but if you don’t do this right we will end up unemployed and we might not see each other again.” Jensen’s eyes grew wide. “Do this and I promise I will fuck you blind later but stuff it up and we may never get the chance.”

He clutched Jared’s arms. “NO!”

“YES!” Jared peeled Jensen’s fingers off his arms, put his hands on Jensen’s shoulders and looked down at him as he patiently explained. “Jen focus on me, come on give me all you’ve got and I promise I will make it good for you.”

_Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll forget I said that._

“Okay.”

“Good then let’s go.”

They returned to their places and Jared told Kim that they were ready to continue.

“Okay from the top. Take four. Action!”

“You’re bossy and short.”

Jensen grinned and then launched into Jared’s lap kissing him passionately.

“CUT! CUT!” Kim screamed obscenities to anyone who was in spitting distance, while Kripke descended from on high to lord over his domain from a chair.

“What the fuck was that?” Kripke demanded.

“Huh?” Jensen succinctly answered as he cautiously climbed off Jared.

“You do know that Sam and Dean are brothers right? I don’t know what goes on where you come from, but where I grew up brothers don’t kiss each other until their toes curl up. So what the hell were you doing?”

“What he said.”

“What who said?” Kripke prodded.

Without looking at Jared, Jensen raised his arm and pointed to his stunned co-star. “Jay. He said focus on him so I did.”

Kripke rose to his full hobbit height and roared, “Padalecki did I or did I not tell you to fix him?”

“Uhm…”

“So what in the name of Sam Hill did you do?”

“Well…ah…”

Kripke’s eyed dilated, “No you didn’t! On my set?”

“No…not really…”

“Trailer,” Jensen offered helpfully.

“Padalecki I said fix him, not fuck him!”

“I…we…shit…”

Jared watched as Kripke lost it. In fact his antics reminded Jared of when you let go of a balloon and it whizzes around the room bouncing off everything and making those weird hissing and pinging noises. That was Eric Kripke at that very moment and Jared couldn’t help but wince as he watched the little guy deconstruct.

Kripke, with hands on hips, stood on his ~~throne~~ chair and faced down his nemesis. “You don’t have to take the advertising seriously Jared. The slogan _Supernatural Just Got Sexy_ is not a license to fuck your co-star senseless. Lord knows he has enough brainless moments as it is. So go feed him, get some coffee into him and get him focused because right now he’s as focused as a fart. I, on the other hand, will be meeting with studio execs to explain why we are running behind schedule and I swear, if you bring him back worse than when he left here, I will kick your ass all the way to LA. May I remind you that this is a show about supernatural events, anything can happen. Sam may die suddenly and painfully, and then be resurrected in the form of Lex Luthor. So don’t push your luck Padalecki because it ran out three hours ago.”

Jensen eyes grew wide during Kripke’s performance but when Jared opened his mouth to speak and Kripke held up his hand to stem the interruption, Jensen was awe struck. As the finger of god was raised on high Jensen fell to his knees and kissed Kripke’s feet.

“Forgive me for I have sinned,” Jensen implored.

With twitching eyes and pursed lips Kripke glanced from Jensen to Jared and inquired, “What’s he doing?”

Jared looked at Jensen then back to Kripke, shrugged and replied, “Praying?”

The earth began to shake and self preservation kicked in, so Jared took a step back, “Get-him-out-of-here-before-I-decide-to-have-Sam-and-Dean-reincarnated-as-Samantha-and-Deanna. Now be gone!” He pointed to the exit.

He didn’t have to be told twice, Jared quickly dragged the prostrate Jensen to the craft services tent and deposited him at a table on his own; lord knows no-one else needed to be inflicted with him. He joined the food line to get them some lunch and absently noted that the tent was filling up. He wished he could just take Jensen and hide away from prying eyes; but he dare not cross Kripke again who was last seen comforting Kim Manners who seemed on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

He was quietly gathering some food when he heard the unmistakable trill…

“You hoo? Jared? Surprise!”

_There are ants at every picnic but today they are fire ants. Aren’t I the lucky one!_

He put his food tray down, turned and found himself with an armful of Sandy.

“Sandy what are you doing here?” Jared didn’t need to sound surprised because hell, he was.

“Hey baby, I went shopping and I bought…” Jared zoned out and joined Jensen in that happy place. “…So I thought I would surprise you.” She then consumed him much like a praying mantis on the discovery channel…well she kissed him.

There were a few snickers, a wolf whistle or two and one very loud and irate voice that screamed, “You’re cheating on me?”

Jared, with lips still locked on Sandy’s, opened his eyes looked past his girlfriend and saw Jensen who had risen to his feet and was clearly unimpressed with what was going on. People scrambled in all directions to escape the fallout but also to ensure they had ringside seats.

_I’m so dead._

Sandy climbed out of Jared’s arms and faced Jensen. “Jared?” She was clearly confused by what was going on.

Jared giggled nervously. Sadly he wasn’t confused. This was his head on a collision course. Impact was but a second away so he braced himself and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Jared!” Jensen and Sandy both yelled.

IMPACT… “No I’m not cheating on either of you… technically.”

“Technically?” Sandy repeated. “And just what does that mean?”

“Well Jensen and I just kissed…”

“Just kissed my ass,” Jensen shouted at him. “And we probably did that too. You just jerked me off in my trailer until I passed out and I fucked you senseless the other night. Just how technical does it have to get Jared?”

“You slept with him?” Sandy accused. “You slept with Jensen?” Her voice dropped an octave, “You slept with a man?”

Jared tried to reply but he seriously had no idea what to say, so he turned to the lady behind the counter at craft services, “Hi Sally what’s the chef’s special?” he asked hoping his attempt at normality would diffuse the situation.

“Humble pie, hot stuff,” she replied as she winked at him.

Jared blushed. Jensen threw his arms out in disgust and Sandy asked, “What you’re sleeping with her too?”

Jared quirked an eyebrow in surprise, looked back at the woman behind the counter; she was sixty if she was a day and looked back at Sandy. Boy his lovers were not only jealous they were both stupid as well.

“Jared why are you still with Sandy?” Jensen had his arms folded across his chest and was tapping his foot impatiently. “You said you dumped her.”

Sandy gasped. “He what? When the hell did he tell you that?”

“Yesterday when I went to his place and we kissed and…”

Jared knew he had lost, so he decided to come clean. “Ok enough. I never said I dumped her…” Well his version of clean it would seem.

“But Jared I was at your place yesterday!” Sandy reminded him.

_How could I forget? You never shut up._

“The only time we weren’t together was when you answered the door. You said Major Disaster needed help.”

The crowd burst out laughing.

“You two-timing pig,” she started to cry. “You lied to me.”

“And me!” added Jensen who also began to sniff. “You bastard.”

“It’s not my fault. It was just a joke?”

Jensen looked aghast, “Being with me was a joke?”

“Yes! No! At first it was, but you threw me out…”

The crowd cheered, “Way to go Jensen,” someone shouted from the throng. Jared was sure it was Kripke who had entered the tent just as things started to get a little interesting and was now happily ensconced on a chair, megaphone in his hand.

“I didn’t know what to think,” Jensen threw back at him. “You said we slept together and we were naked and I…”

“Panicked? That’s the problem you got scared and then guilty and then you turned up on my doorstep and told my neighbors I have a big penis.”

Someone yelled, “I win the pot; so how big is big Sasquatch?”

“Bite me!” Jared snapped back

“You wish sunshine. I’ll leave that to your lovers.”

“You showed the neighbors your penis,” Sandy was appalled. “You got your penis out and showed your neighbors while I lay in your bed?”

“NO!”

“Then how do they know how big it is?”

“Jensen told them.”

“I did not.”

“Yes you did…”

“Give Jensen a break he was still in shock…” A Jensen supporter called out.

“More likely hung-over,” someone else suggested.

“That’s no excuse,” a woman shouted. “Men always use the, _I was drunk_ excuse.”

“Honey with your face there isn’t enough alcohol in the world that could make me use that as an excuse with you,” a guy from the crowd shot back.

And the sound of a fist hitting a face ricocheted around the tent. In the blink of an eye the tent had descended into anarchy. Tables were overturned, chairs flew through the air, cutlery whizzed passed and food decorated every surface. People not actively involved in the brawl dived for cover behind tables and tent poles in an effort to escape the fracas and the flying food. Anything not nailed down became a missile that hurtled by to crash into anyone or anything that was in its way.

The lighting guys flashed the sound guys, the set design crew taped the camera guys, the makeup girls painted the wardrobe staff, the dolly grip clocked the best boy who in turn belted the gaffer, the stunt men threw stunt punches and stunt _kapow_ and _bam_ sound effects could be heard over the grunts and groans and the art department sketched everyone. Kripke shouted instructions through his megaphone, while dancing like an evil leprechaun on his chair and in the middle of it all, Sandy was beating the living crap out Jensen.

_What the fuck?_

At the height of the carnage in walked Bob Singer and a visiting reporter. The reporter was there to discuss the recent sacking of a lightning technician and Bob, in his infinite wisdom, had suggested that they sit in the craft services tent and have a coffee so that the man could see for himself just how relaxed a work place the _Supernatural_ set was.

Bob ushered the stunned reporter to the where Jared stood, “George this is Jared Padalecki one of our two main stars. Jared, George here is from an online entertainment site; he’s come to see how well we get on.”

Jared shook the man’s hand, threw himself back to avoid a bottle that flew past his head and simply said, “Nice to meet ya.”

“What? Should have I worn a strap on to bed…”

“Couldn’t have hurt. Not like you could reach him without stilts anyway …”

“Okay. Well I hope you enjoy your visit George,” Jared told the shell-shocked man.

Bob was looking through the menu choices, “Now George I suggest we get something to eat before this lot decides they’re hungry. I recommend the tuna salad.”

The reporter instinctively ducked as bowl of tuna salad flew past.

“Sorry love,” Sally replied. “Looks like we’re all out of tuna salad today.”

“So Sally,” Bob asked. “What do you suggest?”

“Still have a bit of fish left; if you’re quick.”

“What kind of fish?”

“Flying!” she deadpanned.

“Excellent. Two fish and a couple of coffees thanks Sal.”

Jared watched in abject horror as Bob, with the reporter hot on his heels, collected the food and ducked and weaved his way to a spot near Kripke, who was continually shouting instructions and encouragement to the combatants…if _kick him, get him_ and _bring him down_ counted as encouragement.

Bob handed the reporter the lunch tray while he righted two chairs and a table and invited the man to sit.

“We have a very calm, harmonious set here.” He explained as he tucked into his lunch. “Everyone does their job well and the set is a happy place, no conflict.”

“You fucking bastard. Bad enough you sleep around but to steal _my_ boyfriend…”

“We try to provide a work environment that fosters freedom of speech and expression. You might want to lift your plate,” he warned the reporter as a stunt man was thrown across their table.

“I sleep around? Now that’s a joke. He’s the one who said that if I focused on him then he would fuck me blind…”

“We never need to resort to threats or inducements to get people to work...”

“He’s mine.”

“No he’s mine.”

“And as you can see we are a sharing, caring community.”

The reporter just stared open mouthed at the absolute carnage that was happening around him, while Bob, unperturbed by the riot, droned on about the benefits of people all pulling together for the good of a project.

While all this was happening Jared stood rooted to the spot. He was suffering from the fight or flight syndrome and flight was winning, as he watched every man and his dog get in on the action. He had never anticipated things would get so out of hand. It was supposed to be a stupid practical joke but he had single handedly managed to bring down the entire production because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut or his hands off Jensen. Now he had lost both lovers and his job all because he wanted to have a good laugh.

_Way to go Padalecki!_

Just when things couldn’t get any worse; in walked Kripke’s PA with a couple of studio execs in tow. The situation went from bizarre to downright hysterical in a heartbeat as Kripke shouted loudly through his megaphone.

“CUT! CUT!”

And silence reigned supreme.

“Okay folks that was great. I think we have a real understanding of how that scene will play out. Department heads we’ll meet in an hour to discuss ideas and good work people. Jared, Jensen you’re not needed until Thursday so enjoy the break and tomorrow we set up for our guest actors. So thank you, all of you for participating today and that’s a wrap folks.”

The execs seemed un-phased by what they had witnessed and Kripke offered no explanation and acted as if this was an every day occurrence.

However Jared knew how to read between the lines. He wasn’t always stupid just when it came to Jensen. He knew full well what Kripke really meant, he and Jensen had three days to fix things or they would be thrown to the wolves or more precisely the studio execs.

_Damn the guy is smooth. The transition from antichrist to the almighty was seamless. Maybe Jensen is right the guy certainly seemed all powerful._

The reporter looked owlishly at the mayhem surrounding him and finally asked, “So that was all part of the show?”

“Of course!” Bob enthusiastically replied. “We believe in getting our people involved. It was part of an upcoming episode and we wanted to see if it was viable to use that scene or not.”

“So what’s the episode called?”

“ _Tall Tales,_ ” Bob replied matter-of-factly. “So George can I interest you in some dessert?”

“I guess. What’ve they got?”

“I believe it’s called _Fantasy Pie._!”

 

[Part 5](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html)

**Tags:** [humor](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/humor), [jared/jensen](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/jared%2Fjensen), [rps](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/rps), [supernatural](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/supernatural)

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[{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/62836104/12034593","uname":"sea_yeah","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":749,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://sea-yeah.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"sea_yeah","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://sea-yeah.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"sea_yeah"}],"thread":191949,"level":1,"dname":"sea_yeah","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=191949&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=191949&format=light#t191949","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=191949&format=light#t191949","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=191949&format=light#t191949","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":191949,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"sea_yeah: Eyes","article":"LOL LOL LOL<br /><br />*brain aneurysm*","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 09:48:48 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187257728","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":750,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":191949,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":192205,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=192205&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=192205&format=light#t192205","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=192205&format=light#t192205","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=192205&format=light#t192205","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":192205,"etime_ts":null,"above":191949,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Ah yep. LOL Glad to know you laughed. My work is done *giggle* Last part out by Sunday. Thanks for reading and commenting *gg*","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 11:24:20 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187263460","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/96887463/12341280","uname":"ysbail","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":754,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://ysbail.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"ysbail","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://ysbail.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"ysbail"}],"thread":193229,"level":1,"dname":"ysbail","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=193229&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193229&format=light#t193229","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193229&format=light#t193229","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193229&format=light#t193229","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":193229,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"ysbail: MY BOYS","article":"That was hysterical - I love how Eric palmed it all off as a rehearsal ... wonderful.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 12:49:36 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187268576","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":761,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":193229,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":195021,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=195021&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195021&format=light#t195021","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195021&format=light#t195021","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195021&format=light#t195021","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":195021,"etime_ts":null,"above":193229,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Eric is one smooth operator but Jared knows Eric will crucify him if doesn't fix things. Am so pleased that you liked the chapter.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2007, 06:43:01 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187332981","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/69293078/8273242","uname":"ingiwoo","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":755,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://ingiwoo.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"ingiwoo","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://ingiwoo.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"ingiwoo"}],"thread":193485,"level":1,"dname":"ingiwoo","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=193485&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193485&format=light#t193485","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193485&format=light#t193485","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193485&format=light#t193485","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":193485,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"ingiwoo: pic#69293078","article":"Absolutely loving this! Rl is being a bitch and I really needed the laugh.My 2 little nut cases are now wondering why Mummy is sitting laughing her head off! Thanks!!!! ","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 17:33:34 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187285614","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":762,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":193485,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":195277,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=195277&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195277&format=light#t195277","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195277&format=light#t195277","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195277&format=light#t195277","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":195277,"etime_ts":null,"above":193485,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Laughing is good for you. That's why I wrote it...I needed a good laugh too LOL. Hope RL improves and Part 5 will out on the weekend to give you another giggle I hope.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2007, 06:48:59 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187333339","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/50934707/10610759","uname":"idiot4dean","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":756,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://idiot4dean.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"idiot4dean","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://idiot4dean.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"idiot4dean"}],"thread":193741,"level":1,"dname":"idiot4dean","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=193741&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193741&format=light#t193741","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193741&format=light#t193741","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=193741&format=light#t193741","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":193741,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"idiot4dean: by huntress69","article":"I needed an after work laugh and you certainly provided it. I love that the only stunned people were Jared and the reporter, everyone else just got on with things and covered so well.<br /><br />Looking forward to more.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 18:23:34 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187288614","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":763,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":193741,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":195533,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=195533&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195533&format=light#t195533","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195533&format=light#t195533","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195533&format=light#t195533","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":195533,"etime_ts":null,"above":193741,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"I love to hear that people laughed woo hoo. Jared has made a nice mess of it silly bugger. LOL<br /><br />Part 5 out on the weekend and Jared has some major rebuilding to do to get his life back on track.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2007, 06:55:10 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187333710","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/110870491/13050637","uname":"kuhekabir","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":760,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"kuhekabir","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"kuhekabir"}],"thread":194765,"level":1,"dname":"kuhekabir","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=194765&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=194765&format=light#t194765","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=194765&format=light#t194765","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=194765&format=light#t194765","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":194765,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"kuhekabir: colin icon 1","article":"Oh my oh my, I just screamed with laughter, I think they heard me on the top of my apartment building and I am on the first floor. Anyway, that was excellent, cannot wait for the last part now to see how it ends...any idea when you will be posting part 5? Thank you.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 16 2007, 22:25:05 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187303105","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":764,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":194765,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":195789,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=195789&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195789&format=light#t195789","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195789&format=light#t195789","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=195789&format=light#t195789","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":195789,"etime_ts":null,"above":194765,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"ROFL now that's a reaction I love to hear about. Excellent, you enjoyed it. I should be posting the last part on the weekend. Have just staggered in from work so I'm a little brain dead atm but yes hopefully it will be out by Sunday. ","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2007, 06:59:16 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187333956","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114847349/20961140","uname":"jensen_fanboy89","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2549,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"jensen_fanboy89","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"jensen_fanboy89"}],"thread":652749,"level":1,"dname":"jensen_fanboy89","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=652749&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=652749&format=light#t652749","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=652749&format=light#t652749","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=652749&format=light#t652749","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":652749,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"SchættenDpg: Tomb Raider","article":"Ok, that was just crazy. I was laughin maniacally here, and Sandy fighting Jensen? OMG, that's a must seen scene.<br /><br />Awesome work.","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 10 2009, 03:36:53 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1249875413","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2555,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":652749,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":654285,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?replyto=654285&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=654285&format=light#t654285","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=654285&format=light#t654285","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html?thread=654285&format=light#t654285","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":654285,"etime_ts":null,"above":652749,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"I love this chapter. The fight scene was so much fun to write too. I am so happy you love the story *gg*","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2009, 00:49:46 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1250470186","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0}]

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	5. Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (Part 5 - Story Completed)

  
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     China Rose ([](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile)[ **chinas_rose**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/) ) wrote,  
[2007](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/2007/)-[08](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/2007/08/)-[21](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/2007/08/21/) 09:58:00

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#  Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (5/5) Jared/Jensen NC-17 

  
Banner by China Rose

 **Title:** Assumption is the Mother of all Fuck Ups (Part 5 - Story Completed)  
 **Author:** China Rose  
 **Pairings:** J2 (Jared/Jensen)  
 **Rating:** NC-17 (There be man sex in here)  
 **Type:** RPS  
 **Status:** This story is **complete** and is posted in **5** parts  
 **A/N 1:** Overall story information in Part 1  
 **Word Count:** 4786 words

 **Previous Parts:** [**Part 1**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26389.html#cutid1) [**Part 2**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26732.html#cutid1) [**Part 3**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/26913.html#cutid1) [**Part 4**](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27597.html#cutid1)

Part 5

**“The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.” (Ronnie Barker)**

 

Jared read the text message from Kripke again…

_“You’re paying for the damages fuckers. See you Thursday. PS I have Samantha and Deanna on speed dial so screw up and you and your boyfriend are toast.”_

_Okay so that’s clear enough. Now to the hard part…Jensen._

Jared took a steadying breath, wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and knocked on Jensen’s door.

No answer.

He had a key but rather than just opening the door and walking in he decided it was wiser to knock. Anyway he guessed Jensen knew he would be around after everything that went on this morning and he honestly didn’t expect a warm welcome, but he was here and he needed to get inside and talk this through. Besides he knew Jensen was home; he could hear the television in the background and the unmistakable sounds of assorted objects being thrown against walls.

_And the hits just keep on coming. Someone’s throwing a tantrum!_

He knocked again.

“Fuck off Jared!” The voice was icy calm and devoid of the obvious emotional turmoil assailing its owner.

“Fuck you!” Jared bit back. Jensen is as much to blame for all this as he is, at least in Jared’s mind anyway.

“You wish. Leave me alone.”

“Can’t do that Jen, we have to work things out or we’re out of a job.”

“Don’t care!”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.”

_They say never work with kids and animals._

“Stop acting like a four year old. Besides I owe you something so you have to let me in.”

There was a pause,

_And we have a winner._

“Owe me what?”

_Tentative but curious that’s a good sign._

“Can’t give it to you out here or we’ll end up arrested and that would really suck with what I had planned.”

Jensen reluctantly opened the door an inch and peered around it, “What is it?”

“Well for starters an apology and also I recall something about fucking you blind. Now I have nothing against public sex, but I sorta figured our first time should be just us, don’t you?”

“First time?”

“Yeah first time Jen. Come on open up, let me in and I will tell you all about it. Then we can fuck.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that right? An arrogant, two-timing jerk.”

“Come on Jen don’t tell me you’re not interested, because you’ve spent the last few days throwing yourself at me. You want it, I want it, let’s do it.” Jared rang a hand through his hair and sighed, “And just so you know, if we do fuck then I won’t be cheating on anybody. Sandy left me, so open up. Please. I have to explain.”

Jensen stepped back and opened the door wider. “The explanation is fine,” he informed Jared as the younger man stepped inside. “But you can forget the fuck. I’m not interested in someone who...”

“Who what Jen? Made you come so hard you passed out. Yeah I can see why you’d never want to feel that good again.” Yes he was sarcastic but hey, getting through to his idiot co-star wasn’t going to work the conventional _lets talk like rational adults_ way after all that had happened.

“Fuck you! Just because Sandy dumped you doesn’t mean you can use me to get your rocks off.”

“Is that what you think?” Jared advanced on Jensen. He had the height and he intended to use it. “You know what I think?” Jensen shook his head, as he continued to step backwards to stay out of Jared’s personal space. “I think you want it. I think you really want me to pick you up and carry you off to the bedroom and fuck you into next week.”

“You’re delusional.”

“And you’re lying.” He shoved Jensen up against a wall, thrust a knee between his thighs and captured his mouth passionately.

_Argue that one Jen._

The stifled moan and thrust of the hips was all the proof Jared needed.

_The boy is so easy, but that’s just part of his charm._

He placed one hand firmly on the bulge in Jensen’s jeans and squeezed.

Jensen screamed in surprise. “Jared don’t…” he begged although he thrust forward to meet Jared’s hand.

“Don’t what Jen?”

“D-D-Don’t…” but his words were cut off as Jared did it again. “D-Don’t…” he gasped.

“D-D-Don’t what? Don’t touch you? Don’t fuck you or Don’t stop?” He squeezed again and felt Jensen swell in response.

“Don’t stop,” Jensen admitted, defeated.

To say the whole thing wasn’t affecting Jared would be the understatement of the year, but Jared was on a mission, he had to stay focused to see this through. So he continued to place feather light kisses and nips along Jensen’s jaw and down his neck. While his hand rhythmically stroked up and down the length of Jensen’s bulge. It was enough to tantalize but not enough to get off on.

“Jen we gonna do this?”

“E-E-Explain,” Jensen reminded him, although it was obviously a struggle to formulate a thought let alone verbalize it.

“Not a problem but I have a request first,” Jared confessed.

“Request?” Jensen squeaked and Jared smiled at how strung out Jensen was.

Jared sucked on Jensen neck and then soothed the mark with his tongue. “Yeah a request.” He squeezed Jensen harder this time and the other man threw his head back and pleaded for release. “Not yet Jenny. Don’t want to rush it do we? We’ve got three days. Now where was I? Oh yes, my request. I will give you your explanation but you have to do something for me.”

“Anything?”

“Really? Anything?” Jared looked at him surprised. _Jensen must really want this._ “You don’t even know what I want.”

“But I now what _I_ want. Jared _plleeeeassse!_ ”

_Bingo!_

“I know what you want too, but you have to do this one thing for me or you don’t get an explanation and you don’t get to come.

“You’re joking aren’t you?”

Jared just stared at him and idly massaged the back of Jensen’s neck while he waited for the man to give in.

“Fine what do you want?”

“I will tell you everything but you can’t talk….at all. You just have to listen. Moans, groans and laughing are allowed but you say one word and all bets are off. You talk and I leave. Then you don’t get the answers you want and you don’t get me which I think is something you really, _really_ want.” Jensen’s eyes were wide with lust, need and a healthy dose of fear. “So Jen you have to be quiet until I tell you, you can speak. Think you can do that?”

He leant into Jensen, his body hard against his friend’s and his own cock firm and just as needy. “I want you Jen, I really do, but just this once I want it this way. Trust me I will make it something you will never forget. Besides I know how much you love games. So what’d ya say? You want to play with me Jen?”

Jensen thought it through for about a millisecond before replying. “Okay whatever; I’ll do it but just hurry…”

Jared placed his fingers tenderly on Jensen’s lips, “Shhh now. No more words. Let me take care of you.” And he sealed their bargain with a kiss, like a demon at a crossroads.

So the deal was set, although Jared was sure Jensen would have agreed to anything by now. With a final stroke of Jensen’s jeans covered hard on, he stepped back just a little and smiled as Jensen swayed toward him.

“Alright. This is gonna be great. Come on over to the front door.” When Jensen arched an eyebrow at the request Jared laughed. “Come on Jen trust me. It’ll all become clear very soon.”

“Okay so let me tell you a story,” Jared began as Jensen joined him by the door. “Last Friday night we went out drinking and had way too many shots of everything before coming back here to play some games. We challenged each other to all sorts of competitions, like the Playstation, hand standing and popcorn catching. I won that one of course and don’t say it was because I have a bigger mouth, because you wait until my mouth sucks your dry; I bet you won’t be complaining then.”

Jensen blushed.

Jared laughed kept talking. “Then the real fun began. We took those spud guns I picked up the other week in the dime store and played Texas rangers, and we pretended to be at the Alamo and when we stopped the game to oil our guns we discovered that you didn’t have any oil in the kitchen, but you said that there was KY Jelly in the bedroom.”

He looked at Jensen who simply stared back at him with an unreadable look on his face.

“Remember that greasy mark on your bedroom wall? Well, you did that.” Jensen looked bug-eyed at Jared as he relayed the details of Friday night. “No it’s not cum, just too much lube on the spud gun and the potato shot out a bit too mushy, hit the wall and slid down it. You were testing your weapon or so you said. At that point I wrestled you for the gun and those bruises,” he pointed to Jensen’s arms and wrists. “I did that trying to get the gun from you. Sorry about the bruises dude just don’t know my own strength sometimes.” Jared looked slightly embarrassed, shrugged and continued his story.

“So do you know what else we did that night?”

Jensen made a loose fist and began imitating jerking off his nose.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jared asked confused by Jensen’s gesture and then it hit him. “Oh right I get it, you’re saying ‘fuck nose’ _as in fuck knows._ Hey that’s clever dude. Must remember that one…ouch.” Jared squealed.

Jensen had belted Jared on the arm and now stood tapping his foot impatiently. He was all business in a frazzled sexy kind of way.

“You’re bossy and you’re short; you know that right?” Jared muttered as he rubbed his arm.

Jensen flew at Jared and wrestled him to the ground but Jared simply rolled them over and pinned Jensen’s arms to his side while sitting on him. “Now Jen play nice or I will pack up my toys and go home.”

Jensen bucked and Jared bit Jensen’s shoulder. The subsequent moan told Jared he had won that round.

“Enough of this. Come on get up. I have lots to tell you.”

They stood next to each other, Jensen sulking and Jared smug as he continued his tale…“So I guess from your, fuck knows, you don’t remember anything. Well, we came up with a new game where we blew up your glow in the dark condoms and placed them all around this room.” He waved his hand expansively indicating the impressive sight that it was. “Then, we had to break the condoms while running in the dark and being fired on by the other guy and…and this is the good bit, if we didn’t break a condom we had to take off a piece of clothing. Thing was, we kept drinking, so we kept missing, and in the end we broke all the condoms with our hands and staggered off to your bed butt naked.”

Jared had his arm firmly around Jensen’s shoulder by this stage more so to ensure that the man didn’t flee the scene than in friendship. Jensen on the other hand was rooted to the spot as the story unfolded. He went to speak but Jared held a hand up.

“We had a deal remember?”

With a roll of his eyes Jensen gave in and bit his lip just in case he was tempted to speak again.

“So where was I? That’s right, so we finished our game and went to the bedroom.” At that point Jared began to undress an unresisting Jensen, “and we were drunk.” He removed the man’s t-shirt and allowed himself a moment to run his hands over Jensen’s fine chest and arms, “and we crawled into your bed.” He quickly took off his own t-shirt before pulling Jensen to him for another toe curling kiss just to remind Jensen where this was going “and we were very, very naked.” He kicked off his thongs and unbuckled their jeans, just popping the top button and going no further, much to Jensen’s apparent frustration. “And now I think we should take this to the bedroom so I can finish my story in the place where it all really began. What do you think?”

Jensen grabbed his arm and all but dragged him to the bedroom. Once inside Jensen wasted no time in stripping Jared back to his bare essentials.

_So much for taking it slow._

When Jared was naked, Jensen stripped his own jeans off, stroked himself to full hardness and arched at eyebrow at Jared in invitation.

_Okay I get the hint._

Hint or no hint Jared stood where he was. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed slightly.

Jensen threw his arms out in a _take me I’m yours_ invitation.

“Ah, Jen I’ve never done this before,” Jared admitted.

Jensen smiled at Jared and shrugged.

“You’re a real help. Dude I’m serious I really have no idea how to get this part,” Jared fisted his cock, “into your...you know part.” He pointed in the general direction of Jensen’s ass. “I mean I know I don’t just shove it in there,” Jensen paled at the comment. “So I guess some stretching is in order. Bend over.”

Jensen eyebrows shot up but instead of bending over as Jared so sweetly put it, he sashayed over to Jared like sex on two legs and pulled his head down for a sensual kiss. The only problem with acting like you know what you doing is that you really should know what you’re doing and so as they went to kiss but they ended up bumping noses. “Oof!” Jared cried. “Shit we managed alright before. Try again.” But try as they might they kept bumping noses, so in the end Jared announced, “You go left, I’ll go right and we’ll take it from there.” Kissing 101 was underway and they managed just fine in the end.

It seemed now that they were naked, a certain amount of awkwardness had developed between them and awkwardness meant a lot of trial and error, which Jared hadn’t counted on when he told Jensen he couldn’t speak. So he was left to direct, and lead, and control, which in hindsight is probably what Jensen craved all along.

_As I keep saying nothing is simple with this guy._

So here they were naked, aroused and desperately needing to fuck and Jared was still running _how to_ scenarios through his head so he could actually progress to the _fucking Jensen blind_ part.

“So we gonna do this?”

Jensen eagerly nodded his agreement.

“Okay, so on the bed and open your legs, I just want to get a look at where I have to go.”

Jensen looked appalled as Jared slithered down his prone body to inspect his ass. Jared certainly wasn’t expecting to be slapped on the upside of his head for his efforts. “Quit hitting me man and what was that for anyway?”

_Oh! My bad!_

Jensen was embarrassed if the deep crimson blush that was spreading over his body was any indication.

“Come on dude. I just want to get the lay of land so to speak. Now open up. Not like I get to look at ass holes very often if you discount the ones we meet through our jobs.”

Jensen threw his forearm across his eyes, but opened his legs for the ass inspection.

“Wow it’s tiny,” Jared muttered as he fingered the hole tentatively. “You sure it’ll stretch. I mean you’ve seen me man, I’m huge. I don’t want you to snap me in half or anything because you’re hole’s too small.”

Jensen groaned and reached into the bedside table draw where he blindly rummaged around finding lube and condoms which he tossed in Jared’s direction.

“Fine I get the hint.” Jared picked up the lube and giggled. “Cool you bought an industrial size bottle of lube.” Jared examined the biggest bottle of lube he had ever seen and looked at Jensen. “Either you think I’m enormous or you were planning for a very busy night. Either way I feel very proud right now. You think I’m big and have staying power. Jared is the man!” He thrust his hips provocatively and Jensen grabbed a pillow to hide his face and embarrassment.

“Come on Jen you’re a man too. If you weren’t I would have fucked you by now. The fact that you have the same bits as me is the reason that we are a little slower on the uptake, but hey the finish will be worth it.”

A muffled moan escaped the pillow.

“Lose the pillow man I want to see you your face,” Jared ordered and Jensen slowly pushed it aside and looked at Jared. He seemed vulnerable and exposed and Jared just loved that look on Jensen.

He poured a generous amount of lube onto his fingers and began painting Jensen’s ass, all the while keeping up a constant prattle about what he was doing.

“Damn this is so hot,” he murmured as his fingers rubbed over a tiny bump inside Jensen.

Jensen groaned loudly, his eyes wild and his hands grabbed Jared’s arms. He was panting heavily and Jared wasn’t sure if it was with pain or pleasure, so he did it again to see what happened and Jensen groaned once more.

_And that would be pleasure. I found your boy-spot. Time to bring you down baby!!_

By the time he had three fingers in Jensen, his friend was writhing and moaning uncontrollably. Jared guessed the time was right to move to the next stage…the fucking.

“Jen you ready for me?” There it was the deer in the headlights look, and Jared worried that maybe Jensen wasn’t ready after all. He inspected Jensen’s ass and figured that a bus could drive through it since it was so wide now. So he wasn’t sure what the problem was. He tried again to get a response, “Jen you sure you want me to do this?”

_Cause I really want to do this. I’m gonna explode if we don’t do this._

Jensen stared at him pupils blown wide and body trembling.

When Jensen didn’t acknowledge his words, Jared became worried, “Hey man we don’t have to do this…”

But Jensen grabbed a condom, tore it open with his teeth, rolled it down Jared’s ample length and lay back holding his legs up and apart.

“Okay so I guess we’re good to go, but before I do there’s something I need you to know.”

Jensen looked aghast that Jared would interrupt their love making with idle conversation but nonetheless he listened if it meant they got to the good part sooner.

“I know I said no talking, but if it gets too much for you, you shout STOP and I will. You understand?”

Jensen gave him the thumbs up and so Jared got down to business.

Jared positioned himself at Jensen’s entrance and pushed forward. “I’m going in!” Jared announced as breached the rim. “Oh god,” he moaned as he stilled to ensure Jensen was okay with everything. He could see the sweat beaded on Jensen’s skin and tension in his body as Jensen tried to work through the pain to the pleasure.

Jared pulled back slightly and pushed in again, a little further this time.

Jensen clenched and unclenched his fists and kept his eyes tightly shut and mouth open as he panted shallowly.

“You doin’ okay Jen? Does it hurt?”

Jensen shook his head.

“Liar! Is it too much for you?”

Jensen shook his head again.

Jared knew Jensen would have told him to stop; then again Jensen had wanted this for a long while so he probably wouldn’t stop it if he thought he could get through the pain.

Jared thrust a little deeper and Jensen gasped at the intrusion.

_Please don’t make me stop, please don’t make me stop._

“Jensen? Open your eyes and look at me,” Jared told the man. When Jensen complied Jared asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

Jensen responded by tucking his legs behind Jared’s thighs and pushing the man in deeper. Jared shouted in surprise and Jensen moaned. _Move_ he mouthed to Jared and Jared agreed, moving was what they both needed right now.

Jared set up a steady rhythm and each time he hit that little bump inside, Jensen bucked in pleasure. Jared could see Jensen wouldn’t last long, so he took hold of Jensen’s cock stroking it in time with his thrusts. Obviously that was a good thing because Jensen was now arching up to meet Jared.

“So Jen I had better finish my explanation.”

Jensen appreciated that Jared wanted to finish his story but it seemed a moot point considering they were both about to come.

“So about being in bed together…we slept next to each other but we _did not, sleep_ together. I did not get fucked and you did not fuck me.” He stilled inside Jensen and gripped the base of Jensen’s cock tightly to stem any chance of the man coming. “But you already knew that didn’t you?”

Jensen’s eyes flew open in horror.

“You can speak now,” Jared said through gritted teeth, the feeling of his cock surrounded by all that moist heat almost too much to bear.

When Jensen didn’t answer he continued, “You knew all along. You risked everything, our jobs, our friendship, so you could win a stupid joke?

Jensen had tears in his eyes as he tried to make his response coherent considering their somewhat unusual situation. “No,” he finally replied, voice gravelly and uncertain. “I risked everything for you.”

“For me?” Jared repeated.

“I think I love you.”

Jared titled his head wondering if that old David Cassidy song I think I love you would start to play magically. It didn’t. So he shook his head and went back to the matter at hand…literally.

“Oh,” Jared answered shocked by the frank admission.

“Not to break up a tender moment but for fuck’s sake Jared can I come now….please?” One very pent up co-star begged.

Jared smiled broadly, pulled Jensen forward onto his thighs, wrapped an arm around his waist and stroked his length firmly with his other hand, as he thrust up and Jensen bore down on him. They came with a hoarse shout; Jensen’s cum covering them both and Jared held his lover tight as Jensen who, as usual, came and went for a second time that day.

_And I say it again I am the man!_

Jared gently lowered his lover to the bed and eased out of him and once more cleaned them both up. Tossing the face cloth aside he climbed into bed and pulled his still out of it lover into his arms.

“Come on Jen wake up.” Jared tapped Jensen’s face to try and rouse him.

Finally Jensen opened his dazed eyes. “Jay?” He croaked.

“I’ve got you.”

“’Kay.”

“It scares me to death you know,” Jared really wasn’t concerned whether Jensen was listening or not.

“What?” Jensen tried to focus. In fact he began to look decidedly worried.

“When you pass out like that. You gonna do that every time you come? Because man I gotta say it’s freaky.”

“It’s you…your fault,” Jensen tried to explain. “Wanted you and then I had you and it’s too much. I just overload.”

“Yeah about you wanting me.”

Jensen tried to push away from Jared but the man would have none of it. “Stay still. I like this part. Cuddling is good. So you gonna tell me when you knew it was a joke?” Jared asked as he snuggled Jensen closer to him.

“When I came home after seeing you yesterday. Started cleaning up the mess here and well, things just fitted into place.”

“So you decided to turn things around on me huh?”

“I like to win, but really I had been trying to think of a way to tell you what I wanted, how I felt and you played right into my hands with your joke so I just went with it. Figured that since you seemed happy to pretend we had fucked and you didn’t slap me silly when we kissed, then maybe deep down you really wanted me just like I wanted you.”

“So does this make us gay?

“I think we’re bi.”

“So we’re bi then,” Jared seemed to be trying the title on. “Bi. I like that. You know you’re my first non booby experience. I don’t look at other boys I just like you and your boy bits.”

“I am rather fond of your bits as well.”

“So what was all that crap when we were filming? Hell of a risk don’t you think?”

“Wasn’t meant to happen, but after I passed out in the trailer and then came to, I was out of it and I couldn’t think straight. That was _so_ your fault Padalecki.”

“Okay I accept that one, but you pushed it. All those kisses and touches. I would’ve had to have been a saint to ignore all that stuff.”

Jensen giggled.

“And what about the fight with Sandy? I thought you liked her?”

Jensen blushed, “I was jealous.”

“Of Sandy?”

“Yes and mad at you.”

“What did I do?”

“You let me think you had dumped her and when she turned up and you hadn’t told me she was in town, well I thought you were cheating on me, even though we hadn’t really done anything except the trailer stuff. Look, I was still a little fuzzy okay and when she started getting down and dirty I decided I would fight for you. I was so close, or so I thought, to having you as mine that I just went for what I wanted and that was you.”

“Wow.” Jared was stunned. “She left me. Said you were too much competition for any woman. She said we are made for each other. She might be right, we sort of fit together.”

“We do, don’t we? So when did you work it out?”

“What that you were playing me?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t pick it up straight away, but later after Sandy left I thought about everything and I remembered when we were filming you said “But _he’s_ not drunk.” Jared grinned.

“Oh.”

“I realized that you were saying that what had happened earlier wasn’t because either of us were drunk; that I jerked you off because I wanted you and not because of some drunken fumbling.” However, Jared felt he still owed Jensen an apology despite his explanation. “I’m sorry I played the joke on you.”

“And I’m sorry I turned it back on you,” although Jensen really wasn’t considering the final outcome. He nestled into Jared, “So what now?”

“Well I see a prosperous future ahead, much fucking and loving and fun.”

“No more jokes on each other?”

Jared laughed, “I think we can call this one a draw and from now on; it’s us against them.”

“Works for me.”

Jared kissed the top of Jensen’s head. “This is just the beginning. Wait to we get back to the set. We'll be a force to be reckoned with lover."

“Hey Jared you didn’t get rid of those potato guns did you?” Jensen waggled his eyebrows.

************************************************

**Epilogue**

 

“Honey come look it’s that episode of _Supernatural_ that they we rehearsing when I was at the set.

“Which one George?”

“ _Tall Tales._ Wonder if they kept that scene in.”

His wife handed him his favorite dessert as the opening credits rolled.

“It was a scream. Those people are riot.’ He took a spoon full of his dessert, “I love this Fantasy Pie by the way.”

 

The End

**Tags:** [humor](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/humor), [jared/jensen](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/jared%2Fjensen), [rps](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/rps), [supernatural](http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/tag/supernatural)

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[{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/110870491/13050637","uname":"kuhekabir","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":765,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"kuhekabir","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://kuhekabir.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"kuhekabir"}],"thread":196022,"level":1,"dname":"kuhekabir","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=196022&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196022&format=light#t196022","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196022&format=light#t196022","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196022&format=light#t196022","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":196022,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"kuhekabir: colin icon 1","article":"Finally, the last part. I knew it, knew it, Jensen was on to him but this was still a surprising ending and just loved Jared taking charge...Excellent, really.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 21 2007, 07:30:55 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187681455","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":766,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":196022,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":196278,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=196278&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196278&format=light#t196278","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196278&format=light#t196278","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196278&format=light#t196278","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":196278,"etime_ts":null,"above":196022,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Hehehe I think Jared liked being in control and Jensen was cheeky. Good to the ending was still a surprise...I had hoped it would be *yippee*","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 21 2007, 07:43:19 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187682199","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/62836104/12034593","uname":"sea_yeah","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":767,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://sea-yeah.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"sea_yeah","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://sea-yeah.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"sea_yeah"}],"thread":196534,"level":1,"dname":"sea_yeah","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=196534&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196534&format=light#t196534","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196534&format=light#t196534","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196534&format=light#t196534","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":196534,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"sea_yeah: Eyes","article":"<i>fuck nose</i>??? *screams with laughter* Must remember that too.<br /><br /><i>ass inspection</i>? *giggles*<br /><br />So many things that made me giggle. Thank you.","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 21 2007, 18:56:24 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187722584","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":768,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":196534,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":196790,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=196790&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196790&format=light#t196790","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196790&format=light#t196790","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=196790&format=light#t196790","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":196790,"etime_ts":null,"above":196534,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Thanks for reading hon and I am pleased that you enjoyed it so much.<br /><br />\"Fuck nose\" was just something I couldn't resist putting in...it cracks me up everytime. LOL","stime":"5 years ago","ctime":"August 22 2007, 04:54:46 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1187758486","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/79130846/16157164","uname":"andenken1","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":1933,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://andenken1.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"andenken1","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://andenken1.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"andenken1"}],"thread":495030,"level":1,"dname":"andenken1","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=495030&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=495030&format=light#t495030","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=495030&format=light#t495030","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=495030&format=light#t495030","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":495030,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"andenken1: YinYang kitties","article":"This is one of the most hilarious stories I've ever read. I still can't breathe right after chapter 4 - AWESOME!!!!!! ;)","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"August 18 2008, 00:11:34 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1219018294","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":1935,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":495030,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":495542,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=495542&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=495542&format=light#t495542","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=495542&format=light#t495542","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=495542&format=light#t495542","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":495542,"etime_ts":null,"above":495030,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Hello there. Thanks for reading the story. I am cheered no end to know that you really had a good laugh. Laughing is good for the soul... so have a great day/night and once again thanks for making my day brighter too by sharing your thoughts *gg*","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"August 18 2008, 00:18:43 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1219018723","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/104498449/13374876","uname":"flanigan8","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":1975,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://flanigan8.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"flanigan8","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://flanigan8.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"flanigan8"}],"thread":505782,"level":1,"dname":"flanigan8","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=505782&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=505782&format=light#t505782","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=505782&format=light#t505782","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=505782&format=light#t505782","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":505782,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"flanigan8: my photos I am kate","article":"Every time i read it i love it even more! you never cease to amaze me *hugs* <br /><br />Don't ever stop writing because if you did people like me would have to spend way too much time in the real world, your my escape from reality and i couldn't go on without that ;)","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"September 14 2008, 13:07:56 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1221397676","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2192,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":505782,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":561334,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=561334&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561334&format=light#t561334","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561334&format=light#t561334","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561334&format=light#t561334","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":561334,"etime_ts":null,"above":505782,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Wow how did I miss this comment. Thank you so much. The writing won't stop...may get delayed but never stops. Happy to hear the story made you happy. Thanks mate *hugs*","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"December 25 2008, 22:29:31 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1230244171","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/111634431/16816974","uname":"mangacat201","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2129,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://mangacat201.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"mangacat201","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://mangacat201.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"mangacat201"}],"thread":545206,"level":1,"dname":"mangacat201","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=545206&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=545206&format=light#t545206","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=545206&format=light#t545206","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=545206&format=light#t545206","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":545206,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"mangacat201: Devil&#39;s eyesight","article":"Oh what the flying fuck, that was utterly and insanely hilarious!!! I laughed so much through these chapters, it literally hurt! I mean.. yeah.. that was a joke turned around and around and yeah, Kripke is god because he turned it on them all!!<br />Cat","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"December 14 2008, 19:29:37 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1229282977","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2130,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":545206,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":545462,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=545462&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=545462&format=light#t545462","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=545462&format=light#t545462","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=545462&format=light#t545462","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":545462,"etime_ts":null,"above":545206,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Hi hon thanks for the commenting on the story. I am really happy that it made you laugh. I could wish for nothing more. You made my day. *Hugs*","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"December 17 2008, 07:34:10 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1229499250","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/51474357/5010811","uname":"akasha_lilian","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2191,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://akasha-lilian.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"akasha_lilian","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://akasha-lilian.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"akasha_lilian"}],"thread":561078,"level":1,"dname":"akasha_lilian","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=561078&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561078&format=light#t561078","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561078&format=light#t561078","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561078&format=light#t561078","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":561078,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"akasha_lilian: laughing Rose","article":"Such a cute and absolutely HILARIOUS story, it left me giggling to no end! *ggg*","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"December 25 2008, 18:29:48 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1230229788","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2193,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":561078,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":561590,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=561590&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561590&format=light#t561590","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561590&format=light#t561590","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=561590&format=light#t561590","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":561590,"etime_ts":null,"above":561078,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"...and thank you for taking the time to read it. Hearing that it made you laugh is a great Christmas gift. Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed it. Merry Christmas!! *gg*","stime":"4 years ago","ctime":"December 25 2008, 22:31:15 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1230244275","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114847349/20961140","uname":"jensen_fanboy89","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2550,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"jensen_fanboy89","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://jensen-fanboy89.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"jensen_fanboy89"}],"thread":652982,"level":1,"dname":"jensen_fanboy89","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=652982&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=652982&format=light#t652982","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=652982&format=light#t652982","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=652982&format=light#t652982","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":652982,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"SchættenDpg: Tomb Raider","article":"Alright, your work is done here. And what an amazing one I gotta say.<br /><br />I loved how you turned this into a humoristic story, you know? It kinda gives the whole thing of them being 'in love' a whole new aspect and it's refreshing, somehow adictive, so I gotta ask: are you gonna write more of this? I mean, that'll be great you know? This story, I pretty much loved it.<br /><br />And I'm so totally into them being 'Bi', that's what pretty much suits guys at this era.<br /><br />Awesome job, I seriously enjoyed. Totally added to my favorites. Congratulations (not for making me add it to my favs, but because you did an spectacular job). Bye.","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 10 2009, 04:12:29 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1249877549","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2557,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":652982,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":654774,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=654774&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=654774&format=light#t654774","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=654774&format=light#t654774","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=654774&format=light#t654774","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":654774,"etime_ts":null,"above":652982,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"I wanted the story to show how sometimes friends can become lovers under the most unlikely of circumstances. I didn't want them gay just bi and I thinks it worked well here.<br /><br />The sequel is more a follow on. Very 'out there humor' and a little different from this one but funny in its own right.<br /><br />I can't so thank you enough for your comments. This story is a personal favorite but knowing it continues to make other people laugh is fantastic *hugs*","stime":"3 years ago","ctime":"August 17 2009, 00:57:09 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1250470629","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114903726/1229598","uname":"mihka_mc","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2612,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":0,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://mihka-mc.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"mihka_mc","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://mihka-mc.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"mihka_mc"}],"thread":668854,"level":1,"dname":"mihka_mc","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=668854&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=668854&format=light#t668854","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=668854&format=light#t668854","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=668854&format=light#t668854","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":668854,"etime_ts":null,"above":null,"upictitle":"obsession is my middle name: J2-heart","article":"*nosebleed*<br /><br />I have to remember to NOT read those kind of stories at work cause...man, try to explain why you are laughing your head off and looking all flustered.<br /><br />So yeah, that was very very very very nice!!<br /><br />So humm...sequel? is it written? ","stime":"2 years ago","ctime":"July 26 2010, 23:36:13 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1280187373","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":0,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2613,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":668854,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":669110,"level":2,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=669110&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669110&format=light#t669110","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669110&format=light#t669110","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669110&format=light#t669110","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":669110,"etime_ts":null,"above":668854,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Hello *waves*<br /><br />Yes there is a sequel...well more of another story in the same universe...sort of...<br /><br />Anyway here is the link<br /><br />Two Wrongs Make It...Right?<br /><a href='http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/66389.html'>http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/6638<wbr />9.html</a><br /><br />Enjoy and thanks for commenting on the story. I'm happy to hear it gave you a laugh *gg*<br /><br />","stime":"2 years ago","ctime":"July 27 2010, 00:07:30 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1280189250","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":30,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114903726/1229598","uname":"mihka_mc","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2614,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":669110,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://mihka-mc.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"mihka_mc","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://mihka-mc.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"mihka_mc"}],"thread":669366,"level":3,"dname":"mihka_mc","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=669366&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669366&format=light#t669366","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669366&format=light#t669366","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669366&format=light#t669366","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":669366,"etime_ts":null,"above":669110,"upictitle":"obsession is my middle name: J2-heart","article":"Aww thanks for the link. I wasn't too sure that it was the sequel..sort of, lol and I did not want to start it before knowing.<br /><br />BTW, simply in fucking awe of the little movies of your layout. he he love the first one. *snort*","stime":"2 years ago","ctime":"July 28 2010, 23:06:03 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1280358363","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":60,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2615,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":669366,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":669622,"level":4,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=669622&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669622&format=light#t669622","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669622&format=light#t669622","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669622&format=light#t669622","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":669622,"etime_ts":null,"above":669366,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"Hiya *gg* Hope you found the sequel okay.<br /><br />...and yes I agree the mini-movies are awesome but I take no credit. All credit goes to the wonderful <span class=\"ljuser i-ljuser \" lj:user=\"ina_ami\"><a href=\"http://ina-ami.livejournal.com/profile\" ><img width=\"16\" height=\"16\" class=\"i-ljuser-userhead\" src=\"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4\" /></a><a href=\"http://ina-ami.livejournal.com/\" class=\"i-ljuser-username\" ><b>ina_ami</b></a></span> who captured these moments beautifully.<br /><br />","stime":"2 years ago","ctime":"August 4 2010, 02:21:41 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1280888501","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":90,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/114903726/1229598","uname":"mihka_mc","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2616,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":669622,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://mihka-mc.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"mihka_mc","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://mihka-mc.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"mihka_mc"}],"thread":669878,"level":5,"dname":"mihka_mc","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=669878&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669878&format=light#t669878","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669878&format=light#t669878","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=669878&format=light#t669878","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":669878,"etime_ts":null,"above":669622,"upictitle":"obsession is my middle name: J2-heart","article":"Oh yeah i did.<br /><br />And I really need to learn how to make LJ layouts darn!","stime":"2 years ago","ctime":"August 4 2010, 03:38:39 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1280893119","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":120,"tracked":0},{"userpic":"http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/117746667/4288460","uname":"chinas_rose","loaded":1,"statprefix":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com","talkid":2617,"controls":null,"siteroot":"http://www.livejournal.com","ipaddr":null,"parent":669878,"subject":"","username":[{"attrs":null,"inline_css":0,"journal_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/","is_identity":0,"bold":1,"striked":null,"userhead_url":"http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=105.4","username":"chinas_rose","color":null,"user_alias":null,"noctxpopup":0,"profile_url":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/profile","alias":0,"side_alias":0,"journal":"chinas_rose"}],"thread":670134,"level":6,"dname":"chinas_rose","shown":1,"collapsed":0,"actions":[{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?replyto=670134&format=light","name":"reply","title":"Reply","footer":1},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=670134&format=light#t670134","name":"permalink","title":"link"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=670134&format=light#t670134","name":"collapse","title":"Collapse"},{"allowed":1,"href":"http://chinas-rose.livejournal.com/27830.html?thread=670134&format=light#t670134","name":"expand","title":"Expand"}],"p_tracked":0,"dtalkid":670134,"etime_ts":null,"above":669878,"upictitle":"China Rose: Castiel","article":"I like to change my layout but making one...I'll pass. I'm just not that arty. I'll stick to making little additions to existing styles. That way I won't muck anything up...I hope LOL","stime":"2 years ago","ctime":"August 4 2010, 03:44:44 UTC","deleted_poster":null,"below":null,"massactions":null,"deleted":0,"etime":null,"ctime_ts":"1280893484","subclass":null,"suspended":null,"leafclass":null,"margin":150,"tracked":0}]

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